I have few regrets about my decisions or actions, because the course of events usually ends up justifying my choices. However looking back, I can identify a few instances where my initial choices were neither correct or productive. This post is devoted to one such set of decisions which in retrospective had far-reaching consequences on my life. The only good positive aspect of this story is that I was able to correct my error before it ruined one aspect of my life. But it did leave a lasting impact that still haunts me..
My mistake was selecting women based on LTR potential, intellectual compatibility, status and looks.
Most readers will immediately realize that this is exactly how they themselves evaluate women for the purposes of dating. What I am going to say in the rest of this post might make you see things in another light.
As I have mentioned in another post, I had a few very satisfying sexual relationships prior to turning 20.. ok mostly 2-3 gals, but you get the picture. However they were not intellectually equivalent to me. While the sex was good and intense, I always felt that a girl who was more intelligent would be better for an LTR or more.
The first of my two interlinked mistakes was the quest for a LTR. I believe that this quest ruined four years of my life (20-23) with mediocre sex, opinionated gals and general disappointment. While I had 3 significant dry spells between 20-23 (4-6 months), I did get a decent amount of pussy. About 20-22 gals, with three 3-6 month long relationships and a few STRs.
However my experiences made me lose faith in women, the concept of LTRs (and marriage) and will be the subject of a future post. For the purposes of this post, let’s just say that I experienced a lot of rejection, flakiness and disappointment from mediocre looking gals. The reason why I chased them and endured three dry spells (self-inflicted) comes down to one expectation.
I wanted sexual relationships with somewhat intelligent girls, who had LTR potential.
I was so obsessed by my preselection criteria that I often ignored cute but stupid gals who were flirting with me, to chase ungrateful women who treated me poorly. I finally turned around after an epiphany and experiences with gals like ‘M1′, ‘N’ and many others. However I could have changed sooner if I was less egoistic and dogmatic.
There were signs, but I ignored them.
My first sign was a fling with a cute single mom in her early 20s, who worked in a bagel cafe near my apartment. While the single mom part was problematic, she did treat me much better than other gals I was involved with at that time. We drifted apart largely because of my unwillingness to be around a single mom with grade 12 education, though she was fun, cute and very considerate to me.
My next sign was an affair with a couple of roommates attending bible college :D. I was almost 23. Both had BFs, who seldom visited them. I first met them in the hot-tub of an apartment complex we both lived in.. discovered that they lived in the same building/floor as me. While I started with plain-looking one, the hotter one did come around and gave me many memorable BJs. According to her oral sex was not sex. I did however fuck the plain-looking one silly. Unfortunately, a threesome never materialized. However these gals were actually nice to me, unlike the “more compatible” ones I was chasing. They used to make grilled cheese sandwiches, decent pasta dishes etc after sex, without prompting.
If they were not into religious crap, they would make decent wives. I cannot say that about the majority of secular, career minded gals- they cannot even cook a half decent dinner without a few cans, bags and jars of ready made stuff.
I did fuck another bible college acquaintance of theirs later that year.. While I am an atheist, it is my contention that sex with me did bring them closer to god. There is something strangely erotic about fucking a wholesome looking bible college girl calling out for god while getting a good pounding or three from an atheist .
However I was still looking for a LTR with an intellectually compatible gal.. stupid me!
The error of my ways first became obvious to me when I was almost 24. It was then that I finally abandoned my dogma about intellectual compatibility being necessary for a good sexual relationship. The long and enthusiastic evening fucks and unrequested morning BJs by ‘M1′ and ‘N’ after overnighters also helped me see the light.. it felt like that anyway ;).
I could have also learned that after ‘R’, but ignored it.. It did however take me two years to finally give up on LTRs, and will be the subject of my next post in this series.
I escaped from my own prison only after realizing the futility of LTRs AND the worthlessness of intellectual compatibility.
Sexual compatibility is the only compatibility that matters. Escorts, STRs, flings and booty call arrangements are, regrettably, the only routes for obtaining good to mind-blowing sex.
LTR and marriages are a waste of time and effort. No amount of mediocre sex in a LTR is worth the crap you have to put up with, because the same effort/money can get you much better sex with more attractive gals who are eager to please. With some exceptions, women will stop trying to please you after the first few months in a relationship.
Just dump her when the sex starts getting mediocre or the mind games dominate your “relationship”. No pussy is worth that crap, especially when a more eager one can be found around the corner or purchased if you are so inclined.
More in the next part of this series.