The 20-40 Dollars Test
I have previously talked about bad experiences in many areas of my life between the ages of 20-24. Until now, you heard mostly about my bad experiences with women, but they were only a facet of the ‘total package’ of shitty experiences.
My preference for online interactions with people, rather than personal face-to-face interactions also arose in that period. The reasons behind this choice are complex, but can be briefly summed as:
Since personal acquaintances and friends are not helpful or trustworthy, it makes no sense to build such relationships in real life.
Finding people who are similar to you + fun to interact with is far easier online. Moreover, laptops and smartphones have improved the quality of such interactions to the point that they effectively substitute “real” interactions.
So what does the detailed reasoning behind this decision have to with a ’20-40 dollar test’?
Let me explain- As some of you might know, my life from 20-24 was marked by my first brush with grad school (M.Sc) plus a year of semi-unemployment and very poorly paid jobs. During this time I was often short of money, especially towards month end. For a variety of reasons, credit was not an option at that time.
To make a long story short, I often had to find somebody who would lend me 20-40$ in the last few days of some months. Now, many of these people who I asked knew about my peculiar situation, and that I would get paid at the end of the month.
However almost everyone of them refused.
In every single case, those who refused had the wherewithal to lend me 20-40$ for a few days. The range of people who refused to help me range from older acquaintances to people of my age who were ‘friendly’ with me.
I cannot help but note that these people had no such problem helping a white person, even if that person never paid them back.
So how does that affect my ability to help ‘people’.
Let me use a famous photo to illustrate my preferred method of “helping” people, who either treated me poorly or who fit their demographic profile. Don’t be shocked, this is a very compassionate and quick method. In reality, my methods are, and will be, far less direct but much more fucked up.
People who do not behave humanely should not expect to be treated in a humane manner.
And here is the video.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
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Ya, sure.. *sarcasm*
I only “loan” money that I’m willing to gift.
That sucks, man.
With me, I have the $1,000 test. If someone wouldn’t lend me a grand (or borrow a grand from me), that person isn’t a friend. I’ve had to get some short-term loans from friends before.
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They did not help with even 40$, though they knew I was getting paid in a few days.
In “real life,” I only have a couple of friends. Having a high IQ (as you obviously do) means most people are going to bore you. Add in your insightful views, and maybe 1-in-1,000 people are friend worthy.
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Yes, and that is why I prefer to not make friends in real life. It is not worth it..
Even in a large city, that limits yourself to a very narrow subset of potential friends.
Add in your non-white status, and it’s more likely that 1-in-5,000 would make good friends.
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I do have my ‘solutions’ to such behavior.
What did your friends say when you asked to borrow such a small sum besides “No” ?
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They claimed they did not have that much money or wondered if I knew anyone else who would give me etc.
Did they give any reason why they wouldn’t lend you anything knowing you had a
check coming? Even from an aquaintance 20 bucks is very little.
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Who care? as you said- 20-40$ is not a lot.
Obviously, here we have a case where you “friends” took you forgranted, i.e. they assumed they could ignore you and get away with it easily. In other terms, your value was low according to them.
Confucius said: “Have no friends not equal to yourself.”
I still want to know where you’re finding these terrible white people. My phenotype isn’t really normal anywhere but people always treat me fine.
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The answer is obvious, if you look for it.
I know where you are, but I just don’t think white people there can be so different from those I’ve encountered around the US and abroad.
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You have no idea, trust me.
Are you in the Anglosphere?
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In the mountain time zone.
I’ve been blessed with great friends, from whom I’ve borrowed and to whom I’ve lent money on many occasions.
But there are some who have refused, and a few who have borrowed (or owed me) without repaying. I lose respect for them.
Generosity is the basic hallmark of friendship. Without it, there is none.
But your photograph … while famous, … is disturbing as a response.
I had a Mid-Eastern friend who lent me $20 once, but he asked me to promptly pay him back in a few days. He knew I had the money and it was just a matter of going to the bank to withdraw it (my account was frozen at the time), but we stopped being friends after I didn’t pay him back when I had other priorities at the time.
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Here is the deal.. If a real life “friend” has no more utility than an anonymous online “friend”, why invest in the relationship.
It was my bad for not paying him back when I said I would, but it’s not like I wasn’t going to pay him back later. I offered the $20 after he got mad, he refused. So I guess the moral of the story is don’t expect too much from your friends (or am I missing some cultural element here).
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He can eat shit.
A.D.,
I had similar experiences in my early twenties, and the same experiences with losing friends (though I did not ask to borrow from them). But I am white, so race has nothing to do with it. It funny, I had thought of instituting some kind of friend “lien” before I came across this post (but the lien would have to go both ways, so you end up where you started, unless you have a better idea). I would consider you a potential friend, or at least, a guy very much to my liking.
Does anyone have any ideas how to implement the “friend collateral” I mentioned (in an asymmetric way)?