Why Online Porn Is A Game Changer

While surfing the intertubes, I came across a FaceBook link by Ray Sawhill: He’s Just Not That Into Anyone. To make a long story short, it is about how easy and ubiquitous online porn is making “real” women less desirable than online porn. I have written about this phenomena before, and so has FB.

The article is, predictably, treating this as a problem. The best part of that article is a series of comments by a person identifying himself as ‘LTRANGIE’. I am now going to post parts of those comments here..

You know what doesn’t condescend to men for their sexual desires? Porn.

You know what doesn’t demand that men repress their sexual desires? Porn.

You know what offers men the opportunity to experience (voyeuristically, mind you) any sexual variation that their minds can conjure without judgment, rejection, or condemnation? Porn.

You know what doesn’t demand that men have wealth that they cannot achieve, not because of their own failings, but because of complicated system of social privileges? Porn.

You know what doesn’t demand that men be 6’6″ tall, well muscled with hair in the right places and none in the wrong? Porn.

You know what doesn’t change it’s mind halfway through the act? Porn.

You know what doesn’t send a complicated, subtle, and constantly changing labyrinth of mixed signals and double standards? Porn.

Men would not be so hungry for porn if their girlfriends and wives didn’t reject their sexuality so casually. Porn doesn’t demand to be called an equal while placing the burden of choice, approach, pursuit, proof, and support solely on men. It merely asks one question, “What do you desire?”

It goes on.

But what we really desire is a partner, a woman who respects us for who we are, not how much we earn or what position on the socioeconomic ladder we occupy. A woman who listens to our opinions and critically challenges her ideas instead of embracing cognitive dissonance in the face of any concept that lacks convenience. A woman who understands that men also have needs, fears, complications, and hurdles to overcome as part of the process of life and wants to share that experience. Men want a woman who abandons the manipulation and deceit of passive aggressiveness and aggressive passivity for responsibility, courage, and decisiveness.

It gets better..

Women demand equality, and deserve it, but they maintain a stranglehold on the control of sexuality. Any indulgence outside of the narrow role that they expect their mate to fulfill is met, at best, with begrudging compliance instead of enthusiasm and curiosity, hostility and abandonment at worst. It is very easy for women to replace a man, but takes a disproportionate amount of effort for men to replace a woman.

Men are given the message that their sex is a weapon and that they bear any and all responsibility for sexual misadventure while women are given license to experience their sexual renaissance on any terms they choose with only the responsibility that is convenient and with as much deniability and license to revise their personal history as their conscience begets.

and better..

If a woman wants to indulge her daddy issues, it’s a healthy expression of repressed desires. If a man has mommy issues… he’s a pariah. There is something wrong with him and he is to be avoided. It is because he is weak and too messed up to be dealt with. It is because he is undeserving of love.

I think that it is worth considering that men’s turning to 2 dimensional representation of fulfillment is a reaction to and attempt to cope with (no matter how misguided that attempt may be) the double standard of the single dimensional role that women expect us to fulfill while expecting the freedom to cherry-pick from a list of privileges without accepting their complimentary responsibilities.

The truth of the matter is that the hurt and damage caused by these double standards, the effects on my psyche, have been profound and long-lasting. But from a feminine perspective, I am supposed to just get over. To man up and fulfill my traditional gender role except for when it deprives them of their whims. Porn let’s me be myself.

and ends with this..

The male libido is not disappearing. It is being rerouted to a place that does not fill us with fear, guilt, shame, and anxiety for the humanity of that libido. This article did nothing but perpetuate the stereotype of male as predator and female as victim. Not a single one of these ideas nor that of the necessity of a shared responsibility for a healthy sex life between couples was even hinted at by Mr. Rothbart’s article. How progressive. The final irony is that the title of this article references, a book and movie that does nothing but reinforce the commonplace aggressive passivity, entitlement, and unrealistic social expectations of the American woman. Congratulations on your pandering.

Comments?

  1. Hughman
    February 2, 2011 at 12:43 am

    That has to be one of the best pieces of writing I’ve seen for a long time. Every word is the truth.

    As you, and many sci-fi authors have predicted, once we attain something resembling Virtual Reality, civilization as we know it will collapse.

    I don’t expect a total one. The religious are likely to oppose it, and the elites will have little need for total immersion, but if you kick out the working and middle classes from underneath them, everything goes to shit.

    Expect total banning of VR technology once the feminists/State catch wind of it.

  2. zhai2nan2
    February 2, 2011 at 3:05 am

    Civilization as we know it is going to collapse long before virtual reality becomes cheap enough to be an issue. Watch the U.S. dollar and the price of rice in 2011.

  3. WuKong
    February 2, 2011 at 7:04 am

    “making “real” women less desirable than…”

    Why is this a bad thing? I think much closer to the truth is it makes more apparent the undeserved haughty position women have in the sexual market. I think it makes it painfully obvious how manly, or at minimum androgynous, women have become in Western society. They do a lot of compensating with makeup and pushup bras.

    They’re not alone in this but, also the expanding waist lines and the redefining of words such as ‘curvy’ or ‘real woman’. This screams out to me a desire for women to control men’s sexuality in the same way they want to control it with porn or alternatives to “real” women. Does this not disgust anyone else? Women’s entitlement over controlling men’s sexuality.

    “civilization as WE KNOW IT will collapse.”

    I know many share my sentiments in this regard but, I can’t see how this is a bad thing. Relations between men and women are possibly at an unprecedented low, and this started long before online porn. What of our current society is worth saving? I, for one, would not begrudge a societal reset that will hopefully put another temporary end to the battle of the sexes.

    • Michel
      February 2, 2011 at 9:55 am

      There are many minority men who share the same opinion.

      They opt out by jacking off to white women in porn.

      How is it that some minority men bash the majority, the whites, and fantasize about fucking white women at the same time? And is this prize mentality a bad thing? Pale skin, blond hair, blue eyes, traits that get the blood going in minority men.

      The blogger buys women, so he is set. What about the rest of minority men? It is futile to whine about not being able to fuck white women and retreat into virtual reality to fornicate with pigments of white women. Or is that the answer?

      I just ask questions.

      • March 3, 2012 at 7:05 pm

        Not all minority men have fantasies about White women and fucking White women, buddy. I’m Asian American and have very little interest in White women these days.

        If all else fails, there are always prostitutes. Women these days are so willing to whore themselves out. Just check out sites like craigslist and backpage.com. Jeez, there are no ladies anymore in America. Just career women, fat women, slutty women, or a combination of the three. If a minority guy wants a decent White woman, he might want to venture out to Europe or Latin America and find one there. There’s a good chance she may be way better than your average White American girl.

        Thank god I have family in Asia and live here.

  4. raliv
    February 2, 2011 at 7:56 am

    Way to go LTRANGIE.

    Good post.

  5. MikkoAP
    February 2, 2011 at 9:34 am

    From the follow-up comment from AUSSIESUZ : ”
    You know what’s totally fake, and driven by economics? Porn. ”

    The punchline to that joke is so easy to come up with…

  6. Days of Broken Arrows
    February 2, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Once again, it seems like women will complain about ANYTHING.

    Back in the politically correct 1990s, there was date rape hysteria and women were mortified the male libido was out of control. Now, men have checked out sexually — you’d think women would be happy, but they have a problem with that too.

    I also find it telling that not one woman blamed women’s own behavior for men turning to virtual women. This is so obvious it’s almost funny.

  7. February 2, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    Ha.
    You know what has low self respect and puts up with women who act against their interests? LTRANGIE
    A little standing up for oneself and setting boundaries goes a long way. If you whine to your peergroup while sheepishly acquiescing your power to a female then you get what you deserve. The man is supposed to have the balls and wear the pants. “Waaaa, women are unfair :(” No shit. Deal with it.

    “allows men not only to get off on porn but to potentially develop a neurological attachment to it” (from the article)
    No wonder LTRANGIE was personally insulted by the article, it spoke unfavorable of his ‘girlfriend’: porn.

    LTRANGIE doesn’t ‘get’ women. He’s spouting the same nonsense meme’s that started a lot of this crap. Stop listening to what women SAY they want and start paying attention to what they REALLY want. Then maybe you won’t need porn and will actually get laid.
    Be more of a MAN and women will stop rejecting you so much.

    “The male libido is not disappearing. It is being rerouted to a place that does not fill us with fear, guilt, shame, and anxiety” – LTRANGIE

    Sooo emotional. Like a woman. BTW, people can’t MAKE you feel those things. You CHOSE to feel them. Can a woman make me feel guilt over my sexual urges? Hell no. I am unapologetic about it and they crave it more.

    Do I like porn, yeah. But there should be limits. If you can’t get it up normally then it’s time to reevaluate priorities. Men clinging to porn and defending it against an article that illustrates common psychological disorders is ridiculous.

    Is this the new ‘Fat and Proud’ crowd?

    • The Plague Doctor
      February 2, 2011 at 5:10 pm

      You seem obsessed with proving your manliness.

      • almost 40 yoV
        February 2, 2011 at 5:31 pm

        He does seem to be. That´s those PUA fanatics for ya.

        Here´s another great thing about Porn, you can share it with a buddy without getting jealous or self-conscious about your dick.
        LOL!

    • Joe
      February 2, 2011 at 6:02 pm

      “Stop listening to what women SAY they want and start paying attention to what they REALLY want.”

      Translation: Women bear no responsibility for their behavior and men must navigate around their bullshit rather than calling them on it.

      “Be more of a MAN and women will stop rejecting you so much.”

      Shaming language. You even capitalize “MAN”. Jesus.

      • February 3, 2011 at 7:32 am

        Nice spin with that ‘translation’. Do you work in politics?

        If you choose to feel shame, that’s your problem. There is NOTHING wrong with being a MAN if you are a male of the species. If you are NOT acting like a man and a woman is not interested, please, for the love of god, put two and two together.

      • OzGirlie
        March 3, 2012 at 9:27 pm

        Yeah Guys, the more you behave like old style men, the more we will act like the women you want.

      • P Ray
        March 4, 2012 at 6:51 am

        OzGirlie: The more that Aussie and NZ girls keep behaving in a racist, grasping and double-standard way, the closer they will get to a statement from New Scientist in 2007: at least 30% of all women born there since 1975 will NEVER have a partner.
        We’ll behave in an old-style way … when you get all the rights and responsibilities of an old-style woman. Deal? Or are you, again, living up to the style of asking for double-standards?
        P.S. If you’re already pretty undesirable lookswise even without opening your mouth, behaviour and personality is the least of your worries. Just as you want a guy who is attracted to you, we want a girl who is attractive to us. Funny, that.

    • anon
      February 2, 2011 at 9:36 pm

      You remind me of the cops in the Matrix (not the agents)

      • Joe
        February 3, 2011 at 11:08 am

        Good comparison. He doesn’t respond with logic, just amps up the shaming language to eleven and repeats himself. Like the Matrix cops, he can’t break his programming.

        Once a certain amount of betas check out, learn game, expat, MGTOW etc, the misandry bubble collapses. There’s not a damn the manginas and femnazis can do to stop it.

    • Days of Broken Arrows
      February 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

      This post reminds me of the ex-friend I had who would always insult me and then when I replied, would say “You get so defensive.”

      In other words, people have to deal with it on your terms. Well, fuck you. And my ex-friend.

  8. February 3, 2011 at 6:13 am

    What’s pathetic is that, as per usual for feminine-centric porn complaints, the author lumps all porn into the same stereotypical profile. By ignoring the overwhelming variety of porn that any given man may “consume”, the sympathetic reader (mostly concerned women and their white knight sycophantic men) is left to presume “porn” means the unattainable, blonde hair, blue eyed, perky boobed, perfect bodied girl in nothing but high heels and ready to take the money shot in her mouth. Porn hating women love this caricature of porn because, for most, it’s just as unattainable for them to live up to as it is for most men to actually experience.

    All one need do is look at the sex category sections of any free video porn site (Pornhub, Red Tube, Tube 8, etc.) to see what a parody this really is. Porn’s not just a blonde and brunette in a threesome with some random guy. It’s amateurs, asians, lesbians, interracial, orgy, fatties, skinnys, matures, teens, etc. Just name the body type, sex act, racial profile, age, hair color, etc. and there is a pornographic niche for it. Considering the sheer amount of sexual variety available for a myriad of preferences, women bemoaning their inability to “live up to” porn star requirements is ludicrous and indicative of their complete lack of understanding the male sex dynamic.

    • The Plague Doctor
      February 4, 2011 at 1:16 am

      [...] the unattainable, blonde hair, blue eyed, perky boobed, perfect bodied girl in nothing but high heels and ready to take the money shot in her mouth. Porn hating women love this caricature of porn because, for most, it’s just as unattainable for them to live up to as it is for most men to actually experience.

      What do you mean by unattainable? You can get a blonde hair, blue eyed, perky boobed, perfect bodied porn star to arrive at your door for $200. LOL

      • February 7, 2011 at 6:56 am

        Unattainable as in, most women would be unable to embody her. That porn star archetype is a caricatured template for what they need to live up to.

      • P Ray
        March 4, 2012 at 7:05 am

        A great way to keep women on their toes.
        After all, women don’t mind jumping through hoops for a man they care about, amirite?
        After all, they want a man to jump through their hoops … so I figure the reverse is also acceptable, since men and women are equal, and we live in the modern age.
        And relationships are all about excitement, and living in the moment, right?

  9. Ted
    February 3, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    “Steak & lobster for dinner every night can get boring.”

    A crude expression, but one that can sum up why improved access to online porn is a game changer. Anytime a famous, good-looking female celebrity find they have been cheated on (Halle Berry, Jennifer Aniston, Christie Brinkley) the response of many people (men & women) is, “What is that guy thinking?” For those men of wealth, it is possible to get sex with an attractive women, and if she becomes more trouble than she is worth, she can be dumped for a newer, younger woman.

    Most men cannot do that – so porn is a ready substitute. If you’re a middle-aged white guy, and can no longer stand look at the blob sitting across from you, just a few clicks of a mouse, and a few minutes of diversion – and it is brief escape. If you’re an Indian guy, and find that the young thing that used to resemble a Bollywood starlet, now looks ready to play the role of wicked mother-in law – well, why wouldn’t you escape for awhile.

    I’m not even convinced that most men want a different real woman every couple of months. It gets tiresome to re-introduce yourself, and re-tell the same tired anecdotes. What gets one woman off, might freak another out.

    Some women admit they cannot cook. Fine – we can eat out or order in. (Note, most top chefs are men). Some women cannot clean as well as I do. Fine, I can do that on my own. Yet, if a woman is bad at sex, I am just supposed to kill off my imagination?

    • February 4, 2011 at 12:23 pm

      “I’m not even convinced that most men want a different real woman every couple of months.”

      Months?! You’re waiting too long.

      “(Note, most top chefs are men)”

      Most top anything are men.

  10. Michel
    February 3, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    I am surprised that you are so kind on the cooking part. I refuse to budge there.

    So go looking for female chefs? Hehehe.

  11. anon@anon.com
    February 4, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Joe :
    Good comparison. He doesn’t respond with logic, just amps up the shaming language to eleven and repeats himself. Like the Matrix cops, he can’t break his programming.
    Once a certain amount of betas check out, learn game, expat, MGTOW etc, the misandry bubble collapses. There’s not a damn the manginas and femnazis can do to stop it.

    He shouldn’t be surprised when the Agents huck and chuck his body after getting whupped on by Neo…

  12. sinister minister
    February 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    You know who invented and continue to propagate porn? Jews.

    They seem to be a very busy people- between ruling the world, inventing porn, creating the new world order etc.

    • February 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

      When you say ‘propagate’, do you mean “multiply sexually” or to “travel through the air”? Please clarify.

  13. JulianusII
    February 9, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    If Jews are really under all our beds can I have Lisa Edelstein or Sarah Michelle Gellar under mine ?If Jews did indeed invent porn maybe they should indeed run the world, God bless ‘em .

  1. February 3, 2011 at 9:00 am
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  3. April 3, 2011 at 5:21 pm
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  6. October 30, 2011 at 12:26 pm

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