Home > Ape Mind, Critical Thinking, Current Affairs, Dystopia, Musings, Reason, Secular Religions, Skepticism, Thoughts on Economics, Zero Sum > What White Attitudes Towards Their Own Children Tells You About Their World View

What White Attitudes Towards Their Own Children Tells You About Their World View

Let me begin this post by saying that I did try to shorten the title. However it quickly became obvious to me that doing so would remove the core concept I was trying to get across. It goes something like this..

The real reasons behind the decline of the family, social congeniality and many related problems in the west have little do with the decline of “morality” in children or liberalism. These issues are, in reality, linked to the world view of their parents and grand parents.

As I have noted in a previous post, the relationship between parents and their children in white (north-European descent) countries is adversarial. One of the most obvious and revealing manifestation of this predominately white parental adversarialism can be seen in how parents from various cultures treat their own children and what they expect from them.

The vast majority of parents in most Asian, African and South American countries for all their other faults are remarkably similar in their approach to parenting. They care about relating to their kids and try very hard to make the lives of their kids better. Whether they can achieve that is open to debate- especially in the case of east-asian parents, but their heart is in the right place. Kids mean more to them than money, deprivation or personal inconvenience. They are willing to sacrifice for their kids on their own- rather than to avoid breaking laws and bylaws. I am not implying that non-white parents are incapable of abuse or cruelty towards their kids. It is just that they are much less likely to do so even if they are not being supervised.

In contrast- most white (north-european) parents see their own kids as adversaries, inconveniences, money pits and hindrances. I have often felt that white parents see their own children as a status enhancer and somebody to boss over, rather than as their offspring. I also believe this attitude arises from a fervent belief in CONservatism.

In most parts of the world parents who demanded rent or utility money from their young adult kids living with them would be considered insane. So would those who let their own kids indenture themselves to banks when they could readily afford to pay for their education or giving them a good start in life. In most part of the world, babysitting your grand-kids is considered a fundamental part of being a grandparent. I could, once again, give you more examples- but that the focus of this article.

Now there are morons who might say- “but will that translate into our kids caring for us when we grow old?” The answer is, by and large, YES! Sure, you can always find examples of children who will not reciprocate but the majority of kids in most societies (and throughout human history) do care for their older parents to a level that might astound those in western countries.

I believe that problems arising from adult children ditching their parents, or measuring all interactions with them in terms of money, in white (north-european) countries are really about payback.

CONservatives try to disguise their reprehensible world view with terms such as responsibility, independence, discipline, manners, hard work etc- but they are fooling nobody but themselves. It is plain to any outside observer that the relationship between parents and their own kids in white (north-european) countries is based on ego, exploitation, status, abuse and is more similar to the one between a master and slave, employer and employee or indentured laborer.

It worked for so long (150 odd years) because there was potential for growth, expansion and increased isolation in the real world. However the ponzi scheme has run out of an increasing supply of naive fools and the pyramid is starting to crumble onto itself.

what do you think? Comments?

  1. wearntear
    February 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    shorter you: Whites are so evil that they don’t even love their own children

    aaaaand you lost me. you are clearly just as obsessive and narrow-minded as the “conservatives” you claim to hate

    I prefer to see them as delusional and greedy. Being evil requires more intelligence.

  2. Webe
    February 24, 2012 at 3:52 am

    Although there is some merit to what you observe in the dynamics between parents and children, I think you are not identifying cause and effect very well. The new dynamics between parents/children are very much a shift in traditional white culture. It was not so long ago that it was considered shameful to put your parents up in an old-folks home, which haven’t been around that long. When I was young we often discussed among the siblings who was going to take mom or dad. My sister built an addition to her house and both sets of parents have or will use it when no longer able to manage on their own. Don’t forget that in Japan too they have witnessed the shift to people separated from children in their old age.
    There are more of such shifts. The generation before my parents, domestic abuse was not tolerated. If you beat up your wife or your children, you could count on her brothers (who usually lived within travel/walking distance) showing up on your doorstep. Nothing to do with cultural values, purely the material conditions under which people lived.
    When I was a child (fifties), family loyalty/solidarity was the only absolute value, and that extended to how your behaviour reflected on the dignity/reputation of other members of the family. And I am white.
    What has really shifted loyalties is that the family in no longer the unit in which people survive. In addition to this change in the material conditions under which people live, mass culture (tv/music/internet/etc) has succeeded in completely tearing apart the fabric of shared experience (along with family and cultural norms and traditions): where people used to make their own music in the living room with family and neighbours, they are now fed culturally from larger social and commercial sources that selected by whim or even at random, and have turned family members into completely separated individuals who happen to live at the same address and share some DNA.
    Modern (white) culture is simply the future of Asian societies, which are the past of white society. There are (not insignificant) cultural differences in family structure and in child-rearing practices, but the dissolution of the inter-generational covenant is not a white thing.
    It is also interesting to note in this time of threatening recession that in America’s past, the urban unemployed survived periodic depressions largely by falling back on family (free rural living, farm produce for food, etc.etc). How survival-proof the current social experiement will prove to be remains to be seen.

  3. The Geographer
    February 24, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Way off the mark.

  4. Ubermind
    February 24, 2012 at 11:06 am

    When you insult white people, please specify the country, cultural community or something like this. White people are very diverse. You are probably qualified only to speak about certain americain or scandinavian white people who adhere to certain cultural clichees.

    I live in eastern europe, almost exclusivly white population here, and i don’t see the trends you describe here. Most people love their children. So this is culture not race based.

    You are racist. Like most americans. Anti white racist.

    I am talking about the ones in western Europe and North America, NOT eastern or southern Europe.

  5. February 24, 2012 at 11:49 am

    These are decent points, but I don’t think that this is necessarily a conservative (or liberal) style of parenting. Quite a few parents don’t realize how much the world (and student loans) have changed since they went through. My baby boomer father was able to marry at 20, have me at 25, pay off his student loans in two years, and has never had a serious fear of being laid off.

    I think that this style of parenting has a lot to do with pull yourself up by your bootstraps style CONservatism.

    What’s happening is not so much conscious malice as a failure of imagination. Many people in the older generation simply don’t understand how the world has changed. They would have been charged rent if they’d moved in with their greatest generation parents, the boomers reason, so why shouldn’t they charge their own offspring rent? I’ve been lucky enough not to be forced to move back home, but I feel like I’m in the minority of my circle of friends.

    No, they are greedy cocksuckers who are trying to monetize every human interaction.

    I think Heinlein’s razor should have been applied to this post: when the facts are equally well explained by malice or stupidity, don’t rule out malice but remember that it’s probably stupidity.

    In some cases, malice is stupidity and vice versa. Remember that I am talking about unbridled greed and ego, not super-villany.

  6. February 24, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    My parents were liberal to progressive and had that attitude, so it’s not based in conservative political attitudes. It’s more deeply based in northern European culture and has probably been this way for millenia, maybe due to the difficulty of supporting more than a few people on a family plot in a cold climate. Maybe it explains northern European aggression and expansionism, which is seen throughout recorded history. On the other hand cold climate Asian cultures don’t display this.

  7. February 24, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Tiger Moms, arranged marriages, and blacks who brag about beating their children.
    —-

    You know something- even east-asian parents are not as fundamentally pathological as west-european descent white parents. The same can be said about east-indians and blacks.

    The behavior of west-european parents approaches some mixture of magical thinking, autism and sociopathy.

  8. February 24, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    It’s true that in lots of cultures (but generally not white societies) parents will do anything for their children. They trick is that they expect a lot more from their kids: for example they expect to have more of a say in what their kids do or study. That’s the trade-off: tight-knit families vs individuality. Neither is really a bad thing—indeed the focus on individuality is one of the very special things about the West.

    There’s a lot to what Webe is saying as well.

    The issue is not about individuality as much as about basic social cohesion once a society has stopped growing.

  9. Shawn
    February 24, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    Dude if you hate Whites so much get the fuck out of Canada.

  10. reslez
    February 24, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    Parents want to see their children become successful and independent. Living at home with your parents is not a sign of success in the West. So parents force their grown up children to pay rent/utilities to encourage them to leave. Sort of like pushing the baby bird out of the nest to force them to fly. Of course it’s almost impossible for young people to find a job that pays a living wage these days, which results in a lot of baby birds going splat on the sidewalk. I think parents are catching up with this, though.

    You make an interesting point about how the adult children eventually reciprocate in monetary terms when the parents are elderly. But again I think this will gradually change as the mentality of poverty sinks in.

    • Nestorius
      February 25, 2012 at 5:00 am

      “Living at home with your parents is not a sign of success in the West.”

      Yeah, and this is the root of the problem.

      “Sort of like pushing the baby bird out of the nest to force them to fly.”

      Except that humans are not birds. Human experience dates to thousands of years, and this is not how things work among humans.

      In any cases, these arguments about “success” (whatever that means) or comparisons with other animals are mere bullshit intended to cover up the real hidden intentions, i.e. what AD clearly said: “parents see their own kids as adversaries, inconveniences, money pits and hindrances”.

  11. Matt Strictland
    February 25, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    This situation is going to change pretty quick along with everything else in Western society which will take a bit longer.

    Of course pluralism, tolerance and a willingness to spend will probably go out with it.

    I suspect the New West will be rigidly traditional, clannish and thrifty almost to excess which will put a an end to modernity, urbanism and all the modern values we’ve been building.

    The US will probably be a bit of Scotland (high thrift,clannish, conservative) and a bit of Mexico (sorry I’d hire you but my cousin needs a job, social mobility whats that?, your not my race sod off) with a smidgen of this and that.

    The only way that won’t happen is if there is an energy breakthrough combined with extensive wealth sharing (reduced work week, social credit, nationalized medicine)

    However that best case requires the current ruling class be replaced and that race issues be resolved somehow which is unlikely to say the least …

  12. February 26, 2012 at 3:56 am

    “In contrast- most white (north-european) parents see their own kids as adversaries, inconveniences, money pits and hindrances.” <= this is such a generalisation and isn't based on any real data other than your own biased view of the world. Totally disagree with your whole post.

  13. February 27, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    I have often felt that white parents see their own children as a status enhancer and somebody to boss over, rather than as their offspring. I also believe this attitude arises from a fervent belief in CONservatism.

    This must be why that white person wrote that whole thing about “Tiger Moms”, which referred to all those white parents who are constantly forcing their children to play the violin, or enter spelling bees, study and work all the time to ensure they do not get less than a perfect 4.0 and score on the SAT, and then informing them that they will go to medical school and become a doctor. All noted white-parent tendencies; anyone hearing this description would instantly think “white” and not, like, some other race or anything.


    With one important qualification- she is an Americanized Asian.

    • February 28, 2012 at 4:35 pm

      You’re saying those parents only force their kids to play violin, do spelling bees etc because they’re *so Americanized*? You mean, because of how common it is for white American parents to force their kids to do those things?

      Even you can’t possibly believe the things you’re saying right here.

      • MaMu1977
        March 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm

        Stop being myopic.
        Asian immigrants (and, for that matter, non-white/latino immigrants as a whole) in America push their kids forward for 1 reason: to equalise their status to (admitted, media-driven) American standards as quickly as possible. In fact, as quiet as its kept, the sub-group of Americans with the highest percentage of “achievement”(scholastic, monetary, etc.), are Nigerians, higher than any of the “Big Three”(China, Japan, Korea). Sub-continental Asians, in comparison, are barely in the running (your Hindi/Sri Lankan/Pakistani/Bangladeshi immigrants, despite stereotypes, are statistically neck and neck with white Americans.)

        What those four groups have in common is simple: superiority complexes.
        Anyone who has ever broken bread and/or opened a bottle of liquor with any of those peoples will soon discover that they honestly believe that they’re the pinnacle of their respective continent’s people. Nigerians, IME, have no shame about referring to all non-nigerian Africans as inferior, Caribbean Africans as “troublesome, but somehow sexy” and African-Americans as outright lazy (I can only *wish* that I was exaggerating about this.) Likewise, make the mistake of referring to any “Big Three” Asian American as being from a rival country, then start sipping your beer and taking notes. For even moar lulz, refer to them as being from an entirely different Asian country and see what happens (you might be able to get away with asking a Chinese person if he’s from Singapore or Malaysia, but you never know…)

        Anyway, given the fact that they honestly do believe that they’re “better” than their peers, their subsequent achievements aren’t especially impressive (IMO.) Thinking of them as being “geniuses” is as sensible as marvelling at the sight of a muscular farmer or an obese cook/baker. In America, school is *free*, libraries are *free!*, university can be *free*, your race allows you nigh-automatic career advancement barring a major screw-up and you’re surrounded by people who don’t give a shit about your “lowborn” family name or your family’s overall history (as a Hindu, our blogmaster should definitely know more than a few Vaisyas and Sudras who are doing jobs that they would never have been allowed to even *consider* in India.)
        Hell, my very first commanding officer was a Japanese man with a white wife; during a holiday party, he drunkenly admitted to us (namely, all four of the black people and all three Filipinas under his purview) that no Japanese woman in his area was willing to marry him because of his family name (he was/is burakumin). If he had stayed in Japan, he would’ve spent his entire life hoping that noone would ever find out his “dirty secret), but in America, he was given the opportunity and the go ahead to earn a double doctorate (MD and Pharm.D.) The possibility of *becoming* a “somebody” was enough to push his parents to push him forward.
        In comparison, out of the seven of us who listened to his sloppy drunk “empowerment” spiel, the two of us who have embraced higher education were Jamaicans (a culture which embodies a frustrating mix of high expectations/high levels of dysfunction. It’s far from uncommon to meet a jamaican family with 4 college graduates and two predicate felons, all of whom are treated as if they can do no wrong by their parents.)

        Tl;Dr-people who come from cultures with superiority/apex civilisation complexes will go far in America. People who don’t come from cultures with those values will muddle along. And as long as America markets itself as a “land of opportunity/melting pot”, those apex civilisation peoples will always eat the lunch of the native born, because their main goal is to equal or exceed the achievements of their “hosts”.

  14. March 1, 2012 at 5:31 am

    So many butthurt liberals here waving the PC flag. AD, you’re spot on. Many of my friends, especially white males, have volatile relationships with their parents, especially their fathers. There’s a lack of respect on the parents part, which the children mimic, which undermines the family unit.

  15. Trish
    March 2, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    Yep, it comes down to jealousy and resentment. Conservatives have an irrational and paranoid hatred of welfare mooches and lazy people who don’t want to contribute. So when their children start showing traits that conservatives believe all these “poor people” have, like wanting to live without paying rent, they flip out and express bitterness towards them. It’s the old, “I have to do it, so you should too!”

  16. nicola
    May 4, 2014 at 11:23 am

    this article lacks coherence, depth and research.

    • P Ray
      May 5, 2014 at 2:59 am

      Your qualifications to say that?

  1. April 18, 2012 at 5:34 pm
  2. August 8, 2013 at 3:17 pm

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