Home > Critical Thinking, Dystopia, Escorts, LOL, Skepticism > The ‘Friend-Zone’ Explained: Garfunkel and Oates

The ‘Friend-Zone’ Explained: Garfunkel and Oates

A live performance of “I Would Never Have Sex with You” which I think is better than the webcam version of that song- largely because of the audience interaction.

It contains such lyrics as..

Cause I really like you as a friend
But there are things I can’t pretend
Know I would love you ’til the end
But there is just one problem (problem, problem)

I would never have sex with you
Believe me, you’d know it if I wanted to
I already would have shown my boobs to you
But that will never happen

and here are some relevant lyrics from that song.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise
You should’ve seen it in my eyes
I kinda like some other guy
But there’s a bigger problem

I would never have sex with you
Believe me, you’d know it if I wanted to
I already would have gone down on you (Kate: You would have liked it!)
But that will never happen

and the clincher.

No amount of alcohol
Could change my mind at all
Our lips will never touch
So kiss that thought goodbye

I would never have sex with you
Believe me you’d know it if I wanted to
I already would have held hands with you
But that will never happen

Enjoy! Comments?

  1. EvilOne
    January 13, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    Hookers are looking better and better!

  2. January 13, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    cold hard truth.
    “much truth is said in jest.”

  3. hans
    January 14, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    Boy will they soon change their tune, when there´s no Pimp-Daddy Big-Brother-State white knights around to cater to their every insane whim.

    You can kick a huMan puppy only so many times..

    True, though most people do not have the mental ability to comprehend that.

  4. Matt Strictland
    January 15, 2013 at 11:55 am

    hans :
    Boy will they soon change their tune, when there´s no Pimp-Daddy Big-Brother-State white knights around to cater to their every insane whim.
    You can kick a huMan puppy only so many times..

    True, though most people do not have the mental ability to comprehend that.

    To paraphrase MIB, a person can learn. People never do.

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