Home > Music Video > Riki Lindhome: Accidental Slut (2011)

Riki Lindhome: Accidental Slut (2011)

The majority of her musical performances are as one half of the musical comedy duo ‘Garfunkel and Oates‘. This video clip however is from a live performance of one of her solo songs. I am putting the lyrics below the video so that it is easier to follow the song since the quality of the live recording (esp the sound) is poor.

It starts with..

I’m a whore in girlfriend’s clothing
Didn’t even know it till last night
I went to a birthday party
What I saw just wasn’t right
Six men stood around the pool
All of whom had dated me
Some of them I’d come to know in
Varying degrees of biblically
Wondering how this had happened
I just stood there paralyzed
Trying to recall how each thing fizzled
When suddenly I realized

I’m everyone’s type till they get to know me
After that, not so much
Maybe the world is trying to show me
Be more careful what I touch
‘Cause all the men that I have dated
The numbers have accumulated
I’ve become an accidental slut

It goes on..

My mom says there’s two types of girls
The ones men fuck and the ones they marry
It had not occurred to me
I might be in the former category
‘Cause I really didn’t mean for this to happen
My intentions were pure with all six
But the title of whore-faced fucking ho bag
Doesn’t come with an asterisk
Don’t know exactly how this happened
Or when my judgment disappeared
But somewhere along the way
Shit got weird

Now I’m everyone’s type till they get to know me
After that, not so much
Maybe the world is trying to show me
It’s time to downshift my clutch
‘Cause all the men that I have dated
The numbers have accumulated
I’ve become an accidental slut

and ends with

I guess my cat’s out of the bag
So I might as well embrace it
‘Cause once Pandora’s left your box
There’s no way to erase it

And I’m everyone’s type till they get to know me
After that, not so much
Maybe the world is trying to show me
My capacitor’s out of flux
‘Cause all the men that I have dated
The numbers have accumulated
I’ve become an accidental slut

What do you guys think? Comments?

Categories: Music Video
  1. P Ray
    January 20, 2013 at 5:37 am

    A woman who is honest, but unfortunately too late.
    The better option for guys is to assume every woman past the age of 18 has been a cocksilo.
    But too many men are either too stupid, too afraid of disapproval from other women or are scared they will get tarred with “ew, you are a pedo!”.
    Hence why if you plan this course of action (I am, for future long-term-relationship) … do not have relationships in your own country.

    • P Ray
      January 20, 2013 at 9:16 am

      Remember, according to the criteria of the APA’s DSM-IV, pedophilia is defined as sexual interest in a child under the age of 13.
      Which is a reasonable facsimile of female outrage, which ignores facts and relies on emotion.

  2. hans
    January 20, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    Bitch actually sounds a bit proud of it, or at least not IN the least ashamed.
    BTW just like that cunt in the audience with the obnoxious laugh.

    Oh well, good times are coming. Soon we´ll all find out what´s best in life( http://youtu.be/kkSFIWzi7aA ).

  3. D'orban
    January 21, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    I don’t think any woman who would–at long last–acknowledge herself to be a slut would ever think she was any kind but “accidental.” It’s still, hey one of those things that just happened! Weird world, huh? Worse, she thinks it buys her credit with you:

    “Yeah, I know you guys, it’s true, I’m totally a slut–BUT STILL NOT REALLY! So my pretend, half-measure frankness means I have an in with you guys, and I can STILL pretend I have some business calling you all unreasonably ruuuude and shut down my blog if you persist in giving me a hard time AND IT WON’T BE BECAUSE OF ME.”

    • P Ray
      January 22, 2013 at 1:04 am

      It’s even simpler than that to me:
      She wants the f*ckers (the guys she’s attracted to) for the sex,
      and the suckers (the guys to finance her when she can’t attract the f*ckers no more) to finance the rest of her (and possibly children’s) life.
      “For richer or poorer”, but mostly for richer apparently.

  4. January 21, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    After the Clinton Era
    Every female was empowered to engulf as much dick as she pleased.
    And men, told to accept it – and, they meekly did. Still do.

    All hail the death of marriage.

    • LOL
      January 22, 2013 at 10:01 am

      Shut the fuck up, FAGGOT.

      No one cares what you think, needy attention whore.

      • January 28, 2013 at 5:40 pm

        What a good tactic:
        Using wise-wisdom
        to attack MY views…
        On someone else’s blog

  5. k
    January 24, 2013 at 3:29 am

    Could you write a post touching on some of these things?

    1) If you could redo college, what would you do differently?

    2) You poon in Canada- would you have thought about how to live there or life closer to there and what you would need to do to make that happen?

    3) How often do you go to Canada for escorts as opposed to the U.S.? Tell us about how your budget on escorts breaks down now in terms of travel/where you go/and country and how you keep the costs down.

    4) You mentioned you took antidepressants in the past. Tell us your thoughts in a post how that went for you and what was was the most effective to make you happier aside from pooning.

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