Altruism, Adversarialism and Women: 08

In my previous post on this topic, I had talked about why escorts are often a better deal than relationships with women (LTR, STR, fuckbuddy, hookups). This post will introduce another concept-

Any ‘non-paid’ sexual relationship with a woman is a three card monte game.

You are the “mark”, she is the “con” and society is the “shill”.

Let me explain the analogy:

You see, it does not matter how tall you are, how educated you are, how white you are, how family minded you are.. it is never enough, even if the woman looks like a decrepit POS. She will just let you win a few times, fuck her often enough while pretending to be in love with you (validating you etc). She might even fool herself for some time. But that period will be soon over, and then you will see her true colors.

It will start with lesser sex, more arguments, more tantrums, more BS.. and end with either her making your existence miserable or leaving you for another “mark”.

You might think that game will help you.. WRONG! Game can get you sex, and it may even buy you more time in a LTR. But it will never cancel the inevitable.

The inevitable end is either a miserable existence or abandonment. All her proclamations of love, fidelity, the size of your penis, height, smell, manners are worthless.. she won’t remember them in a few years or months. The validation from seducing a woman is equally worthless- do you raise your own chickens and pigs for eggs and bacon? Does a nice omelet with fried bacon taste any better because your raised your won food? Think about it.. is the urge to eat conceptually any different from the urge to have sex? Does an earthworm or insect enjoy sex less than you? If anything, their brains feel it more intensely than yours.

You can believe the “shills” and play Three Card Monte, but you will not come out ahead. Even if you think you can win it, you are playing by the rules of the “con”. Google the term ‘calvinball’, the rules change according to needs of the “con”. You are just the latest “mark”. Most “marks” get conned because they think they are smarter than the “con”. Whether it is gambling, contracts or relationships with women, a delusion of invincibility will screw you over.

I have heard many men say “Oh.. I can get ‘free’ sex, maybe there is something ‘wrong’ about you”. Here is a newsflash: I don’t care about your opinion about me. I live for MYSELF, and am not interested in gaining acclaim from “shills” or “cons”. Such acclaim is very easy to gain if you throw some money around, or are willing to hurt people. It is however useless, and cannot buy you anything when you need it badly.

If you are interested in hearing some validation, use a well reviewed semi-pro. It is so much cheaper.

More in another post on this topic.

  1. Days of Broken Arrows
    March 4, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    Another great post. Interesting take on sexual relations.

    But again I want to raise the issue of “arrangements.” Have you or any of the readers engegd in “soft prostitution,” where you pay a non-pro for sex. I know at least two women who recently volunteered to me the fact that they did this. So it has to be going on. Anyone engaged?

    It is better than marriage or living together.. the long term cost per fuck/ suck is lower if you pay for it upfront. Plus you can change to younger models as the older ones rust..

  2. the dude
    March 5, 2010 at 4:44 am

    imagine your game is tight, needs small monetary budget, and you approach the inevitable as you frame it. why not catch the next ride and finita la musica.

    Two scenarios-

    1. Why not routinely bang a woman based your whims.. say you want to bang a woman who looks like Megan Fox on Thursday night and another one who looks like Hillary Duff on Sunday morning by just making a phone call. Total cost per Fuck (like Total Cost of Ownership) is important as is flexibility and choice.. because next week you might want to bang someone who looks like a south american model.

    2. It is difficult to get a 20-something when you are 60, but modern drugs + lifestyle allows you have good hard erections at 60. Why should you settle for a 40 year old woman, when you can pay for a 20-something?

  3. Alkibiades
    March 5, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Very astute observations. I concur on the inevitable arc of a relationship.

  4. required name
    March 9, 2010 at 11:29 am

    Good post.

    You are surprisingly unread, in relation to the quality of your posts.

    You should advertise yourself more.

    I think that most people have too short an attention span. Who wants to read a few thousands words when all they need is a paragraph or two supporting their favorite hobby horse?

  5. required name
    March 9, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Also, you need to have kids.

    You need to raise the intelligence of the next generation.

    • joesantus
      February 18, 2015 at 7:32 am

      Regrettably, there’s no guarantee that one’s specific brain-wiring (and the intelligence, temperament, and critical-reasoning potential that goes with it) will be inherited by one’s kids.

      And even if it was guaranteed that kids would receive one’s same brain-wiring, it’s naive if not inane to believe that a father can instill his worldviews and values into his children, especially if the kids are born with the capacity for critical thinking. For critical thinkers, worldviews and values develop through experiencing life and life’s realities, from observation of and interaction with people and situations. For a critical-thinker, “just because Dad says so” carries little weight and makes insignificant impression. As a once-naive young father myself, and as a man who’s always been a critical thinker, at age 59 now, I recognize that about my own all-now-adult kids.

      AD wouldn’t think as he does if he hadn’t experienced life. If he had kids, they’d have to experience life for themselves in order to arrive at the same conclusions AD has.

  6. required name
    March 9, 2010 at 11:31 am

    I don’t want the world to descend into apes.

    A few years ago, I was considering getting a vasectomy. Now, I am trying to find a way to have as many kids as possible, with an intelligent woman.

    • joesantus
      February 18, 2015 at 8:09 am

      I sincerely hope you changed your mind and got the vasectomy.

      • February 18, 2015 at 1:18 pm

        Tell his ass. My stepfather got his, I’ll get mine soon. I chickened out on mine years ago only because of the pain and what I’ve been informed about how certain doctors are not to be trusted, especially when it comes to the sex lives of brown men. You don’t have to worry about being set up with pregnancy scares.

        But it’s one thing to get a chick pregnant. STDs are something different. Still can’t go up in everybody with no shield!

    • P Ray
      February 18, 2015 at 10:28 am

      Now, I am trying to find a way to have as many kids as possible, with an intelligent woman.

      Be sure that the kids you are having with a woman, are really “your kids” and not “her kids with Chad Thundercock, that you are raising”.
      Paternity fraud is growing
      apparently paternity TESTING is illegal.

      Just like virginity testing,
      the majority women get married in white …

      so who’s on the cock carousel then?

  7. P Ray
    February 18, 2015 at 2:39 am

    “Everybody knows” that “women are not racist”

    • P Ray
      January 6, 2019 at 8:01 pm

      “Everybody knows” that “women are not racist”


  8. P Ray
    February 19, 2015 at 7:55 am

    Useful ebook.
    Lots of disturbing ideas that I talked about are there,
    “Women ask for compensation from guys that they don’t find hot”
    “Women have different standards towards the guys they don’t find hot”.
    Great minds think alike it seems.
    Pandora’s Box. The Men’s Sexual Revolution.pdf

    • P Ray
      February 19, 2015 at 7:55 am

      “disturbing” of course, to the whiteknights, bluepills and the mercenary women.

    • joesantus
      February 19, 2015 at 10:36 am

      “Women ask for compensation from guys that they don’t find hot”
      “Women have different standards towards the guys they don’t find hot”


      Anecdote from my 59-year-old perspective:

      I’m not at all one of the 5’10”-plus, black or white, “women-get-wet-over-me” types…I’m just an average-looking white 5’8″.

      However, i’m a lifelong-drugfree bodybulder (since age 16) who, although stuck with poor genetics for gaining muscle by bodybuilding standards, still, even at age 59, has the washboard-abs/athletic build which most women deem ‘”attractive”.

      Also, my wife and I (married 35 years) have had what amounts to an open marriage for the past two decades (my wife has always been “different” thinking than other women and we finally realized why only about five years ago — she has Asperger’s, which shifts brain-processing of life away from emotion wiring and funnels it all through the rational wiring of the brain — meaning, she thinks and reasons more like a man than like most women; consequently, she’s always approached sexuality and relationships from a rational/objective/logic perspective that brings her to conclusions much like men’s). Consequently, I’ve had (and have) many extra-marital sex partners. I live rurally, so the majority of my playmates I meet through websites.

      I have profiles on websites (as a free user) which allow men to post as married (I make my open-married status clear on my profiles, right in the first sentence; disclosure avoids drama, plus it indicates about me what women think they like, “honesty”). I NEVER pursue any women on any of those sites — rather, I literally let them find and approach me. I always have current photos of my self — my face, and, my naked body so they can see what shape I’m in.

      The over-40s who approach me eventually confess that it was my body that attracted them (which is unsurprising, after all, because how many guys over 40 still have a washboard?). One quipped that it was having a guy with the maturity of a 55-year-old in the body of a 25 year-old. By the way, if you’re wondering..(I’m patient and slow about meeting any woman online, by the way — I screen and evaluate carefully, for everything. No need to embroil myself in a scintilla of stress or trouble.)

      I make clear at the outset that I’m not paying for anything — that I’m not coming over to fix their leaky faucets, not paying to travel to them, not paying for motel rooms, not taking them out to eat, not giving them cards nor flower, and only spending time with them when it’s convenient for me. Zero expense on my end, except for the few miles I drive to a local motel to meet them (in an area where I shop so often go to anyway).Yep, you read all that correctly. So…THEY do the traveling…THEY pay for the motels…they buy their own dinners. And, they do it it for months.

      My point in all this, finally — THESE WOMEN ESSENTIALLY PAY FOR ME.

      The reason (in my obviously very-unusual-and-anomalous situation) these women do it?

      Because, women DO have different standards for guys. When women do find a guy hot and genuinely desire to have sex with him, not only do they not want compensation, but rather, they’re sometimes even willing to pay all the costs themselves.

      And, NOOOOOO, I didn’t enjoy this situation before I was age 40. I was ignored by most women for the “alpha-studs” before then. My turn came only because I happen to love bodybuilding and by default kept myself looking fit long after most of those guys, who were more-easily getting laid in their pre-40s, have let themselves deteriorate physically.

      So, I’ve experienced both sides of this, first as a guy who had to do the paying, and now as a guy whom women will pay for.
      Women damned well do have different standards for guys they consider “hot” and guys they consider “not”.

      • joesantus
        February 19, 2015 at 11:14 am

        Oh, for any who wonder about the “I’m pregnant” issue — I had a vasectomy over 10 years ago,

  9. October 16, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Had to reread this one. Females, by nature, are fickle and aren’t committed to shit. If they DO commit to something, you cannot trust them.

  10. P Ray
    June 10, 2018 at 9:24 pm

    When women talk about “respect”, it is actually …
    deference, favours and obedience from guys they’re not attracted to.

    If you are an attractive man, she will make sure those ideas don’t apply to you.

    • P Ray
      June 10, 2018 at 11:48 pm

      And the inevitable follow-up for the girl that maintains double-standards and lies to regular/ugly guys about it:

      “I wish I was joking. One of my friends is engaged to this 3/10 at best. He found out he was being cucked in the worst way. His fiancée (the 3/10) was sent to the ER tonight because she slit both of her wrists after finding out the Chad she was cheating with fucked her 6.5/10 friend.
      Does it get worse than this?”

      [–]eredin_breac_glas 7 points 4 hours ago
      Wait. So a girl tried to commit suicide because the man she was cheating with cheated on her?
      [–]parheticpathetic[S] 10 points 4 hours ago
      You read that right. And apparently the dude made it VERY clear she was just a hole to fuck and he would be hooking up with other girls. She kept fucking him because “I have a fiancé so I probably won’t care!”

  11. P Ray
    September 16, 2018 at 4:59 am

    “Redpill” women are only sluts looking for a better deal, and you only matter to a girl if you’re her first. Otherwise, they’re just damaged people looking for someone else to take the blame.

  12. P Ray
    October 2, 2018 at 7:33 am

    In the wise words of a former President,
    Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn’t drill. – Robert Mugabe

  13. P Ray
    January 19, 2019 at 3:01 am

    For a regular/ugly guy, Advocatus’ post is absolutely on point.
    The only way a guy can reasonably not be cheated on is playing D&D (not Dungeons and Dragons – Dependency & Dread) … as fear is what keeps a lot of women in line.
    Here’s what someone has to say about that:
    I’ve been told these abusive guys are the masters of deceiving, otherwise girls wouldn’t touch them with a 10 foot pole. There have been numerous studies which showed that once you grow taller than 6′, have a full head of hair and an American Dad like jaw, you can suddenly easily hide all of your mental flaws from women.

    In reality, half of girls are so imbecile that they ignore when a hot guy acts toxic because “he looks good, he can’t be a bad guy”, the other half are completely aware of the fact that they are dating an ass, but they would rather stay with him and take the abuse than to touch a person who is below 7/10. This is the literal truth, no matter what other people say, every abusive relationship I’ve seen in my life reinforces this idea: they stay with the guy because he is attractive.

    Also, walking out of an abusive relationship is insanely difficult. Most hot guys can actually brainwash you with their brain waves and make you call them up and have sex with them. So you really can’t blame women who keeps coming back to their abuser, they are the victims of attractive guys who psychologically control them with their tallness and handsome face.

    Still waiting for someone to explain to me why they “deserve equal rights” when “the future is female”.

  14. P Ray
    January 25, 2019 at 4:33 am

    A good summary, and also a good hint for regular/ugly guys who “think they picked a diamond that other guys ignored”:
    i have a female friend i’ve talked to about this. she was 29 when we started hooking up and a solid 8, but i wouldn’t ever commit to her. she has a PhD and i told her guys don’t care because we’re not going to stick our dicks into her degree. at first she said i was a fucking looney tune for listening to all this weird redpiller shit on the internet.

    now she’s a few years on the wrong side of 30 and a 5 on an average day. more fat, flabbiness, skin is starting to show signs of aging. standard wall shit. we’re a couple years older and she still texts to try and hook up. i’m seeing someone so that’s not happening, so this girl is begging for dating tips. i told her that every intersexual relationship is an exchange. she wants commitment. the guys she keeps seeing only want sex. i told her to swipe right on every guy and match with them even if they’re the biggest loser neckbeard incel. i said guys are very direct and overt… before she gives them her number, she needs to overtly say something to the effect of “i know some people just use this app for hookups and i want to be clear, i don’t jump in bed with anyone outside an exclusive relationship.” there may be a few guys trying to test the waters or not take that seriously, but most guys just looking to hit it and quit it walk… she’s massively raised the risk that she’s just a waste of his time, and it’s a much higher investment cost to him than seeking other girls for hookups on the app. so now she’s narrowed her eligibles down much more. where she used to have plenty of guys she’d get bored of and ghost, now she was getting ghosted by most guys. some would even unmatch within a few hours.

    first thing she notices is that the guys who still talk to her after she says that are MUCH less attractive than the guys she normally matches with. even the guys who are reasonably attractive but have really good jobs walk. simply put, when the deal is put out in the open on the table, he does not think her sexuality is a good exchange for his commitment, so he’s out. the guys who will still talk to her… those guys are the ones who she can exchange relationship value with. never in her life has she got an assessment of her worth based on something other than her vagina. shit, her job was an affirmative action hire. now she knows the caliber of guys she can get. i don’t think she wants to be single forever, so she started going out with these mediocre guys… and i had to mute her texts because she won’t stop whining about them being losers. i told her that if she thinks they’re losers now, wait 5 years to when she’s well crossed the threshold of advanced maternal age… in other words, the guys willing to commit to her will only get worse.

    carol here and this girl and girls like them are a trope. they didn’t cash in at their peak sexuality. they rode the carousel, and are staring the problem in the face but they don’t want to admit it. they’re never going to get chad’s commitment. either they will have to shack up with a beta, or stay single and childless. either path leads to antidepressants and cats.

    Did you see the warning? Here it is again: if you are “happily married” but she is on mood-changing medication, has a control fetish via a continuous stream of pets or “doesn’t want to have sex with you because we’ve grown up” …
    SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU. Many women get away with cheating or giving a sub-standard relationship, because the guy is either stupid or allows it

  15. P Ray
    May 23, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    Good observation from this guy, always watch what women DO, don’t trust what they SAY:
    At 5’4″ I know that no matter how fit, intelligent, confident, funny, and romantic I am … I will never end up with a girl that I am attracted to because I am essentially a 1/10 in a woman’s eyes.
    I met one girl in my life that I was attracted to despite the fact that my friends and family said she was ugly, flat chested, and trailer trash.
    I tried my hardest and did everything I thought I could to make her happy but after only 2 months she said she wasn’t happy with my height and a few weeks later was with a loser who was nothing like what she said she wanted in a man, however, being over 6 feet tall seemed to make him suitable to bring her happiness.
    They were together 4 times longer than we were, and when he dumped her she was distraught for 6 damn months.
    The only thing to get her over her sadness was a guy who was basically his clone, including the trucker cap and the trailer trash personality.
    But since he was over 6 feet tall too, she recovered her happiness.
    I guess all it takes is height and girls will just fill in the rest with their hormones-induced imagination.
    Can’t read? If you’re six feet tall she will say you are smart.
    Fat? If you’re tall she will call you snuggly.
    Unemployed? If you’re tall she will say you are in between jobs.
    Drug addicted alcoholic? She will say you are just so sensitive to all the pain in the world, but she will be there to guide you through those dark times into her loving arms.
    God loves tall men, which is why they are the only ones who get to pass on their DNA.

    • P Ray
      May 25, 2019 at 4:17 pm

      And the corroboration of this observation – i.e. refutation of the idea “women don’t approach men”:
      “Some men, especially those who remain single into their late twenties and beyond, recognize the favorable market conditions and turn them to their advantage.
      “The goal for guys is to get as much ass as possible and then boast about it,” says Jim Leveque,* a 31-year-old former college and minor league baseball player who now runs a personal training business in New York City.
      A good-looking guy with an engaging personality, Leveque’s bar-crawling days are behind him: He is now happily married.
      But back in his single days, the women Leveque met at bars in Chelsea or the Meatpacking District would routinely text him nude or partially nude selfies -completely unsolicited- within hours of their encounters.
      “My friends and I would compare photos,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly.

      Whenever Leveque wanted to get together with a girl, he’d scroll through his photo library and decide which one to call.
      Given what was already on his iPhone, Leveque wasn’t terribly worried about a girl saying no.
      And replenishing his call list was easy.
      If Leveque walked into a bar with a couple of buddies -and his friends are not ex-jocks, for whatever it’s worth- it would not be long before five or six women descended on their table.”
      – Jon Birger “Date Onomics – How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game” page 11/146

      BONUS: The nuclear blackpill:

  16. P Ray
    June 5, 2019 at 6:51 am

    Remember, women hate violent abusive men (to complete the sentence, which will make her angry – only the ones they are not attracted to, though – )

    If he looked like George Costanza I doubt she would be as forgiving. Women only value a guy if other women are ready to “steal” him away. The only women who shrilly talk about “women being abused” are either:
    1. ugly, so can’t get the type of guy she’s really attracted to = angry at the world
    2. old, so can’t get the type of guy she’s really attracted to = angry at the world
    3. lesbian, so can’t get the girl this type of guy attracts = angry at the world.

  17. P Ray
    July 25, 2020 at 10:12 pm

    Don’t forget this old-and-gold advice when thinking that “women are goddesses”:
    submitted 21 hours ago * by FailAllAspects
    Before this sub gets banned, i want to get this off my chest.
    Women are FUNNY. Hilarious actually.
    Not on purpose though.
    Every woman i’ve ever met has 20 self-diagnosed mental illnesses, a period where they cut themselves, a history of “trauma” and “ptsd” over mundane shit, vicious mood swings, a temper, an inferiority and superiority complex, hatred for men, hatred for other women, palpable envy and jealousy, strong political and religious opinions typically without much thought behind them, very little substance to their character, and no functioning moral compass or anything resembling a set of life principles.
    Yet, despite ALL THAT, they think they’re gods gift to mankind.
    I don’t fucking get it.
    Every single one of them (that i have personally met) thinks they’re the greatest thing to grace this Earth.
    They’ll seethe and fume on social media, lambasting swathes of people they consider inferior, without any hint of self-reflection or irony.
    If you’re obviously a fucking mess, who are you to TELL OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO DO?
    Why do women think they know better, if they can barely go 24 hours without having a breakdown and developing a new mental illness?
    You won’t see me trying to tell people how to better themselves or how to think, i’m a fucking mess, but at least i admit it.
    In one breath, they’re incredibly judgmental, and in the next, they’re wallowing in self-pity over their perceived oppression.
    It’s fucking H I L A R I O U S.
    Comedy GOLD.
    Truly a meme gender.
    Whenever i think i’ve seen it all, they always manage to surprise me.
    In 25 years of life, i can count on one hand the number of times a guy’s behavior surprised me in terms of sheer illogic.
    Even the most low IQ, braindamaged, mentally unstable dude will stick to some form of reason.
    But with women, all bets are off.
    It’s like trying to deal with a wild animal.
    Any sudden movements and it’s a 50/50 if she’ll start cutting or shriek about the patriarchy and flame you.

  1. March 6, 2010 at 9:04 pm
  2. December 14, 2015 at 12:22 am
  3. January 25, 2016 at 6:12 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: