My Life from 20-23

I will try to summarize one aspect of an important period in my life (start 20th year- end 23rd year). Bad experiences in multiple areas (girls, career, relatives and “friends”) during those four years had lasting effects on certain aspects of my personality.

It started out uneventfully..

Started my M.Sc on my 20th birthday. At that time I lived in a dorm-like “situation” and ,in retrospective, it had a lasting influence on my life. It was mainly used as short-term accommodation for people who visited that university for anywhere from 1 to 6 months, hence opportunities for STRs and flings abounded.

Met a slightly older and single gal within 2 months. Had a decent STR with her for about a month and then.. she left. Met a couple other gals two months after her, and ended up with both of them. However I preferred ‘petite big titties’ over the other gal. Once again.. it lasted for about 2 months and then they left.

Started trying gals outside my comfort zone, but got only one (bagel cafe single mom). Briefly moved out of that place, but returned to it after 3 months. Got 4 gals in my first year.. Not bad.

Remarks 20:

I learnt that it was hard for me to pick up gals in bars, and even fairly homely ones had a lot of attitude when they were approached by someone like me. A chronic lack of money hampered my sex life and socializing. I had also started to realize that my initial career choice was not going anywhere. To add injury to insult, my rich relatives reneged on their promise to help me.

While I did score a few gals, the sex was not great. It lacked passion and felt almost scripted. Lost touch with those gals after they left. Had a couple of dry spells. The worst part was that I felt very lonely and unloved. It is no exaggeration to say that my journey to the dark side began during one of the dry spells in that year.

On an early may night in that year- could not sleep as I was horny, lonely and angry. Remember walking for about 3 hours in the early morning.. came back and slept. When I woke up later that morning, something inside me had changed.

My second year was much was productive. It started with a fat but cute gal. After her, I ended up with a self-confessed slut and a tall boring gal. Then providence smiled on me for almost a year. I ended up with two married gals, one 4 month STR, one cute east european gal and a barely legal aussie gal. I also had some success in pubs and got 2-3 one night stands and one STR. Almost a dozen gals in just over a year. These ‘victories’ were not easy and took a lot of effort and time. My living environment helped a lot.

The last 4 months in that place were my second major dry spell (4-5 months), and my life took a turn for the worse on multiple fronts. It is then that I moved to the previously mentioned large apartment complex, where I met bible college gals and did stuff with a couple other gals.

However my experiences had started to corrode my soul.

Remarks 21:

I realized that..

1] A matched white guy could have achieved the same results with considerably less effort, and saw such guys get much better looking pussy on more favorable terms.

2] I could get gals to spread their legs, but getting stable LTRs or anything beyond casual sex was problematic. I really wanted someone to fall for me.. and love me.

3] Making friends with white guys to expand my friend circle was unworkable. Many people meet the people they date through mutual friends, and that avenue was pretty much closed to me.

4] It was during my big dry spell towards the end of that year that I first considered buying sex.

The next year was mixed in that it started with a dry spell (previously mentioned) but turned out reasonably well with a MILF, 3 bible college gals (2+1) and an older coworker at a part-time job. However my efforts to get younger and more attractive pussy repeatedly failed. I also entered a particularly unpleasant phase in my academic career towards the end of that year.

Remarks 22:

Lots of kinky sex in that year, but was repeatedly rejected by gals who I wanted to fuck. Sex with bible college gals and the MILF was somewhat better than my experiences in the previous two years.

However I really craved a stable LTR who would support me.

and then the worst year of my life began. I often wish that 1999 could be erased from my life..

Moved to a new place towards the end of 1998.. and had a dry spell. After about 4 months, broke down and started fraternizing with freshly homeless gals. I found that a little kindness, food and money could get me reasonably good sex.

However within 3 months in that year, I was essentially jobless and broke.. It was in the next 6-8 months, when nobody helped me, that I lost all faith in human beings. It was as if everybody was enjoying destroying my life. There is much more to this story than I am willing to say right now.

In any case, it changed me forever.

Towards the end of 1999, my bad luck streak ended. I changed my career path and a series of lucky breaks made my life almost livable. But what I experienced in that year still haunts me.

Remarks 23:

To be the subject of a separate post. I will certainly have to drink a few more beers after writing that one..

I restarted my homeless gal schemes towards the end of 1999 and got an ex-coworker (‘S1’). The next year, 2000, was the beginning of a new chapter in my life.

Gals like ‘N’, ‘M1’, ‘S1’ + a number of other ‘semi-pro’ gals + a few ‘pro gals’ + a few pub pickups kept me busy for the next 2 years. I began my hardcore escort phase in 2002, and the rest is history.

  1. Johnny
    June 1, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    I read your old posts on how to secure a provider. My question is how legit are the boards on eros,, and are there any other suggestions. I found a local board for a desired area, but the options are few. I’ve learned from your posts that CL is not legit. What agenices do u find reputable and such? Thanks for the advice. Are you a member of TER? I have no clue how to do this as economically and efficient as possible. Thanks.

    Are you in/around orange county?

    • Johnny
      June 2, 2010 at 9:45 am

      Yea, but I prefer to do it in the Vegas area.

      Don’t! That is about the worst place to do it. I would suggest that you spend that money on a vacation to the Caribbean, Spain, Portugal.. Brazil, Columbia, some eastern European country.

      If not, just fly to Toronto or Montreal. You can get young, hot and very competent gals at 220-240 $/hr.

      • Johnny
        June 4, 2010 at 12:05 pm

        Thanks for the advice. Amsterdam sounds good?

        Well it is not too bad, but try a more south European country. The attitudes are often much better .

  2. June 1, 2010 at 10:51 pm

    i appreciate the honesty man. reminds me why i started blogging.

  3. indeed
    June 2, 2010 at 9:08 am

    You say you aren’t white. So what race are you?

  4. Grey
    June 2, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Despite how bad things were, you do seem to have scored a lot of pussy with many different women, at least compared to me.
    Most pussy is no better than a good wank, but the effort is so much more. I put in a massive amount of effort to get that much pussy. The mind games, persistence, anxiety, failures, drama, insults, loneliness and frequent/cruel turndowns burnt me out.

    I am in no way suggesting your life wasn’t bad or that it wasn’t hard to deal with. However, in that one area it seems you did far better than the median at all periods of your life. Is the main issue that you wanted an LTR?

    Yes, at that time I wanted a decent LTR.. very badly. I was not the same person when I met ‘N’ and if we had met 2 years earlier- things would have been different.

    I never had a casual experience – just LTRs that were way too long and always bad. I think my life would have gone a lot differently had I been able to have casual encounters. Maybe this illustrates that that alone would not cure depressive tendencies.

    I had no option but casuals/ flings and STRs

  5. Hughman
    June 2, 2010 at 10:14 am

    “Most pussy is no better than a good wank, but the effort is so much more. I put in a massive amount of effort to get that much pussy. The mind games, persistence, anxiety, failures, drama, insults, loneliness and frequent/cruel turndowns burnt me out.”

    And that is the crux of the problem. Being a geek in an all-male school fucked me over.

    What, am I going to have to wait till I get hench (properly will be by 21) to score ‘fky’ casual girls, and 25 before I can get an LTR on my terms? Fuck that shit. Seriously. I only practise Game to stay sane and keep my dignity.

  6. Y
    June 2, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    Man, I sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Its good to know you are in a better place now.

    Now, are the girls you generally go for white?
    I took what was readily available.

    If so do you think your success(or lack thereof) with these women had to do with you being non-white and the negative sexual stereotypes that come with being whatever race you are?

    Or do you think they just werent into you for LTR?

    Nope, they wanted a guy that was acceptable to their peers.

    Did most of these women blow you off from the gate or did they tease you a bit, have sex a few times and brush you off afterward?
    many blew me off, some teased me, a few had sex with me, but almost nobody went for the LTR option.

    Sorry if you have already addressed these questions…you can point me to a particular post if that is easier..

  7. Nestorius
    June 3, 2010 at 3:53 am

    so, what is the role of your parents in all this?
    how did your parents affect your life at that point?

  8. Russel
    June 3, 2010 at 10:14 am

    One thing that surprises me about your story is the lack of support from your family and ethnic group. One of the main advantages your people have in new countries, and especially white countries, is the way you stick together.

    My relatives were not helpful.

    Whites typically flounder about on their own a lot when they’re young and suffer a competitive disadvantage due to their individualism.

    In some ways you grew up more like a typical white person. Ironic.

    Yes, I know. Bizarre isn’t it.

  9. Indian Incels
    December 12, 2013 at 9:24 pm

    I don’t believe it. Most Indian men are virgins in Western countries. You were a FOB from India (probably with an accent), no way any of this is true. Most white guys don’t even get this much sex.

  10. Summer
    September 19, 2016 at 12:17 am

    1 girl every two months is 6 girls a year. So Indian Incles, it isn’t that odd.

    Honestly, it is easier to get STRs and flings than LTRs. Because LTRs require guys to offer a lot that it is actually easier to get flings which require less. But I would agree with you that most of your problems come from being Asian. Being white would’ve made sex a bit more easier to come by.

  1. June 6, 2010 at 2:17 am
  2. October 5, 2014 at 2:15 pm

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