Home > Critical Thinking, Current Affairs, Dystopia, Escorts, Musings, Reason, Secular Religions, Skepticism > Men in Marriages and LTRs Cannot Possibly Have Any Self-Respect

Men in Marriages and LTRs Cannot Possibly Have Any Self-Respect

Over the years, I have come to one unpleasant conclusion-

The majority of married men, and in LTRs, cannot possibly have any measurable degree of self-respect.

While some married men in previous eras might have been treated, by their wife, with a degree of respect and authority, the majority of those who still walk this earth are pudgy mindless servants to the whims of their wife or LTR. It is obvious that women have no respect for men.

Whether it is overhead conversations at Starbucks, bars or direct observation of the body language and behavior of couples- it is obvious that the women see the men as replaceable, neutered dogs with a wallet. Women in groups incessantly talk about how much stuff and shit they have, but rarely mention the guy they are married to (or in a LTR with) except when recounting how she manipulated or put him in his place. The amount of contempt that women have for their husbands and LT boyfriends is amazing, and has to be heard (or observed) to be believed.

I am at a loss to explain why ANY human being would willingly accept so much shit, scorn and ill-treatment.

Surely, it cannot be for sex- as most of these women are past their prime and sex in marriage/LTRs is usually of a low-frequency/ poor quality. In many cases, masturbation to web porn would be a superior option to unenthusiastic sex with these ugly and caustic cunts.

Could it be for kids? Maybe it is for social face? I don’t know.. However it is painfully obvious to me that even a guy living a monastic existence and jerking to internet porn has a better life than the pathetic specimens who choose to remain in “relationships” with such ugly and caustic cunts. Yes, I said it..

Even a basement dweller who collects sci-fi memorabilia, eats junk food, jerks off to net porn and frequents bulletin boards is a less pathetic human than your average husband or boyfriend. Your so-called ‘loser’ has more self-respect than the average man in a LTR with a woman, nor does he have to take all the shit which men in his position are expected to endure.

My epiphany came when I started reading about the lifestyle of shut-ins and freeters in Japan years ago. Initially, I saw them as losers but quickly realized that they were taking the most rational course of action, given their circumstances and choice matrix.

Why care about a system which makes so many demands on you, while simultaneously treating you as an expendable widget?

While my choice of lifestyle revolves around porn, skilled escorts and flings- I can see why some men might simply choose to disconnect from society. Almost anything beats the pathetic servitude of modern marriages or LTRs.


  1. Columnist
    April 5, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    I fully agree.

  2. Thomas Amundsen
    April 6, 2011 at 12:17 am

    You know, there are actually still a few good girls out there…

    • Thomas Amundsen
      April 6, 2011 at 12:18 am

      Well, by a few I mean a lot. It’s less than 5%. Maybe 3% or less. But that works out to be many many girls. Enough that any guy can find one if he looks long enough.

      • April 6, 2011 at 7:32 am

        Keep looking until death!

      • anon666
        April 6, 2011 at 10:47 am

        I agree — it’s *possible* for a guy to find an agreeable relationship, but the main question is: Why should one invest one’s money and free time into a goal with such a low probability of being actualized when one could invest one’s money and free time into pursuits that have *guaranteed* payouts.

        I’ve been in plenty of short relationships, but I’m at the point where I’m so used to not being in one that I feel uncomfortable and anxious whenever I’m in one, and the process of figuring out an exit strategy after having sex with a girl who I’m not really into just stresses me out. (Unlike AD, I do have a conscience when interacting with women, which presents problems.)

        For somebody like me, escorts are the preferable option.

      • April 6, 2011 at 12:01 pm

        Keep looking for those unicorns.

  3. Oekedulleke
    April 6, 2011 at 2:48 am

    Thomas, you contradict yourself. If only 3% of girls can be considered good enough for a LTR then 97% are not and its simply impossible for most average guys to find a good girl.

    If only 3 out of 100 grenades in a box can be expected to not blow up in your face, would you still put in much effort to try and find on of those ?

    • Thomas Amundsen
      April 6, 2011 at 8:29 am

      Well I said you can _find_ them. Didn’t say you’d be successful with them. Also, this is assuming you’ll let a 6-7 pass through…

      • P Ray
        October 3, 2014 at 2:55 am

        She has to find you attractive though first.
        Women treat men they aren’t attracted to, terribly while their looks allow them to pick and choose.
        Afterwards, she “learned her lessons, butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth” and she “likes you for you” … but you’re paying for her for life, and especially for her mistakes that she either made with someone else or the consequences that she now lives with.
        And it seems that … ugly girls are no better in behaviour, since they believe a one night stand with a hot guy is a relationship.
        Men need to practice resource control and denial to get what he wants … because women only “give themselves away” … to the top 10% guy “that other women want”.
        The rest of men, they want those men to “drop your treasure and disappear, so you don’t make me look bad in front of my friends for picking such a nondescript guy, teeheehee”.

  4. Deus
    April 6, 2011 at 3:23 am

    Thomas is probably a woman. Woman aren’t very bright. Online, when they want to impersonate a guy they take basic guy names. No man would be stupid enough to comment anywhere on the net using their real name.

    And no, there aren’t enough good girls. And even good girls are subject to their hormones, especially decrease of sex drive after the first child.

    Fuck marriage. I never want to be stuck to some financial drain and depreciating asset, where the best case scenario is non financial ruin and mutually assured yet tolerated hatred.

    Fuck that. No one leaches off of me.

    • Thomas Amundsen
      April 6, 2011 at 8:31 am

      Actually, it is my real name – http://www.facebook.com/tom.amundsen

      Oh, I wasn’t trying to say there were _enough_ good girls. Just that they do definitely exist. You have to know where to look. Also, any of the ones I had in mind when I posted that were born and raised outside of the U.S.

  5. Anonymust
    April 6, 2011 at 3:56 am

    Nice post, but what if we want kids? We should be able to hire a woman who bears our children, cleans and cooks for us. Like an elite nanny. How much would that cost?
    You can keep the flings and prostitutes, and no ring to pay.

    Just a thought

    • Ted
      April 6, 2011 at 6:47 am

      Wealthy western women are already ahead of you. Such women now “outsource” their pregnancy to countries like India. These women believe that can get to have a baby, while avoiding the physical toll that pregnancy takes on a woman’s body. So, now a man has to not only earn enough to support a wife and children, he has to factor in the cost of an overseas surrogate.

      Granted, this scenario is for people with money. But, since women are impressionable, even middle class women will soon start to believe they are entitled to such an arrangement.

      • Deus
        April 6, 2011 at 10:29 am

        Why get married then. Go ahead and hire a surrogate yourself if you want a child (by yourself I mean guys who want children, not you specifically).

        Either that or wait a decade or two for incubation tanks, when, combined with genetic manipulation, we can create and breed superior children and let them incubate longer, the way they should. (look it up, because of women’s physical limitations, we are all premature births)

    • joesantus
      October 2, 2014 at 12:30 pm

      But, for what rational reason would you want kids?

      No doubt, reproducing is a biological instinct. But, we override our other instincts when reason and logic indicate we should, don’t we?

      Siring a child means placing the person that child is and will be into what we call “life”, with all life’s potential and probable trouble, pain, and distresses. Can you GUARANTEE that person happiness in every aspect for entirety of his/her life, including financial, social, medical, psychological, emotional, physical, mental, and societal? If you cannot guarantee your offspring lifetime happiness, then isn’t it presumptuous and insensitively selfish of you to bring humans into existence without their choice, placing them at risk if not probability of, at bare minimum, some serious unhappiness?

      Parenting only looks enjoyable “from the outside” or in the media. IF you take fatherhood seriously and responsibly (as you should if you’ve brought people into existence), then for every minute of fun, there’re hours of constant toil and effort and attention, for 24 hours a day, for 52 weeks a year, for at least 18 years; after that, you’re still going to be inextricably affected by that person’s decisions and circumstances. From a child’s conception to its adulthood, the distress, trouble, and pain is almost definitely going to outweigh any pleasure or joy you experience as its parent.

      So, as a 58-year-old man married 35 years who has several now-adult children (and would not have them if I could re-do my life, for both their and for my sakes), I advise young guys to seriously reconsider if they feel an impulse to reproduce. Ask yourselves, “WHY am I wanting kids? is my reason out of rational and logical deliberation?”

      • joesantus
        October 2, 2014 at 12:36 pm

        …by the way, to avoid misunderstanding…I actually enjoy good relationships with all my adult sons and daughters. I’m not negative toward having kids as the result of any of the problems and strain often found in families.

        Meaning, even in spite of me having positive relationships with my kids and being happier than many fathers I know, I nevertheless would not have them if I could re-do my life.

  6. almost 40 yoV
    April 6, 2011 at 9:19 am

    A bit more harsh than I would choose to describe it, but yeah.

    Especially the comment about the Japanese “Herbivores”. Simply spot on.

    This is something the PUA crowd cannot compute(maybe even fear). Viewing females as such low a priority that even drawn girls are able to outmatch them.

  7. Peter
    April 6, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Couldn’t agree more.

  8. Simon Rierdon
    April 7, 2011 at 7:42 am

    It’s all a matter of resources and in a lot of ways, luck. I can say that I’m in a completely satisfying LTR situation. What I mean by resources is that I can put her on my payroll as my personal assistant and since I’m away at least thirty weeks out of the year, too much familiarity doesn’t take it’s toll. By luck, I found a hot girl twelve years my junior who exhibits very submissive tendencies and by running Alpha male behaviors on her, is completely in love with me. She goes to the gym four days a week to keep looking good for me and takes care of my household when I’m on the road. Doesn’t happen to most guys but like I said, I got lucky.

  9. The Plague Doctor
    October 24, 2015 at 4:12 am

  10. George
    November 12, 2015 at 9:55 am

    I am 42 Russian single male who has recently started seeing escorts and I cannot fathom the folly of not doing it earlier. Just take my poor uncle who came to Australia 35 years ago only to end up a broken ( twice divorced) man of 62, no house, debts and zero prospects, add to that, partially disabled (incident at work left him blind in right eye. To my amazement he still gives me the sermons tinged with righteous indignation about marriage and family – a testament to the power of brainwashing and conditioning! I am having a ball, sex has never been better and I cannot believe the time I wasted on finding the ‘right girl.’

    Agree.. “marriage” is for people who want to please those who do not care or matter.

    • P Ray
      November 13, 2015 at 8:44 pm

      Most women consider “regular men” to be the “wrong men”, so you will never be able to find the “right girl” in such a cohort.
      More men are beginning to notice, that when a girl doesn’t make any attempt to move the relationship further – and faster via apparent shows of love … she doesn’t love him.

      • Georgr
        November 14, 2015 at 2:59 am

        A man’s concept of what love is world’s apart from a woman’s. Aincient law makers were well aware of woman’s dark narcissitic nature hence stringent regulations were placed in order to provide some cohesion to the unnatural predicament that men found themselves trapped in – marriage. Feminism usurped those laws as a result of which there is no value for the groom. I woke up to the truth at 42. Long time!

  11. November 14, 2015 at 7:28 am

    “Don’t wait for the good woman. She doesn’t exist. There are women who can make you feel more with their bodies and their souls but these are the exact women who will turn the knife into you right in front of the crowd. Of course, I expect this, but the knife still cuts. The female loves to play man against man, and if she is in a position to do it there is not one who will resist. The male, for all his bravado and exploration, is the loyal one, the one who generally feels love. The female is skilled at betrayal and torture and damnation. Never envy a man his lady. Behind it all lies a living hell.” – Charles Bukowski

  12. Anonymous
    January 30, 2017 at 11:02 am

    I am interested in your thoughts on the relative merits of marriage and children with different ethnicities of American women (White American, African American, South Asian American etc). Will you consider writing a non cynical article on the subject. Be realistic but without totally trashing the idea. Also, what do you think are the best options for white, black, Indian, Chinese men to pursue. I am only interested in your opinion on women living in the USA, not women in Brazil or China or Russia.

  1. April 10, 2011 at 1:26 am
  2. April 30, 2011 at 6:12 pm
  3. October 24, 2013 at 11:39 am

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