Home > Critical Thinking, Current Affairs, Dystopia, Musings, Reason, Secular Religions, Skepticism, Technology > Social Atomization Highlights Unwantedness

Social Atomization Highlights Unwantedness

I have written about some of the direct and indirect effects of social atomization in previous posts. Consider this one as another step along the path of exploring that phenomena.

All functional social groupings, especially those made up of deliberative individuals, require a set of unwritten but important preconditions. One of them is that individuals need to feel “wanted” by the group to continue playing nice with other individuals.

A large part of human thought, culture, behavior and rituals is driven by the often unconscious understanding that people will stop co-operating if they are made to feel “unwanted”. As a corollary, most people do not expect those who are made to feel “unwanted” to continue playing nice or fair. Indeed, it is fair to say that the percentage of individuals that feel “unwanted” is very strongly linked to the level of dysfunction in any given society.

Being “wanted” in human societies is not as simple as sniffing each others secretions and accepting group membership- as is the case for insects or most animals. It is a far more complicated and dynamic process with many opportunities for failure and widespread disaster.

For most of human history, a series of social, economic and logistical considerations kept most people from feeling “unwanted”. Most people were pretty poor with few material possessions and therefore depended on interpersonal relationship for survival. Under such conditions making any more than a few people in your group feel “unwanted” was a recipe for personal disaster. Moreover changing fortunes and the vagaries of illness, disability and death made it rather foolish to create unnecessary adversaries.

However the rising standard of living and increasingly impersonal nature of living under the current socio-economic setup has fundamentally changed the need to behave humanely to people around you. Today it is possible to treat people around you like crap without suffering any real consequences. All you require is a bit more power in one particular situation than the person you are abusing.

This new found ability to abandon millennia of basic social protocols does however carry a nasty long-term consequence- a fatal weakening of the very structure that allows civilization to function.

As I have previously said, most people will play nice with others as long as they are made to feel “wanted”. However feeling “wanted” is not an end in itself. As far as human beings are concerned it is the precursor to benefiting from group membership. You can scam people into feeling “wanted” only to later screw them over so many times before they become too cynical.

Social atomization, by its very ability to isolate people from the consequences of their actions, encourages people to scam others by making them feel “wanted”. However it simultaneously it much harder for the disillusioned individuals to get support after being scammed. To make a long story short- it pumps put an ever-increasing number of cynics. But that is only half the story.

The considerable worldwide decline in birthrates has also cut the number of naive replacements who could be indoctrinated, abused and exploited. Therefore we have a self-accelerating increase in the real number (and percentage) of cynical individuals in societies as well as a concurrent decrease in the number of naive individuals who could replace the hardened cynics.

Today most people under a certain age are fairly cynical individuals whose life experience has shown them that they are “unwanted” by others and pretty much alone.

Somehow all of our sociolo-economic institutions, rules, laws and models are still based on the assumption that these people are naive individuals who can be exploited because they supposedly like to be “wanted” by people around them. But if that were the case why would so many prefer laptops, gaming consoles, smartphones, books and Netflix to interaction with people around them?

Could it be that, deep down, they know they are “unwanted” by others around them?

The next question is- Can a society made of individuals who know they are “unwanted” by people around them withstand even a moderate crisis or disruption of the rather delicate status quo? Would you cooperate with others if you knew that you are “unwanted” and would not benefit from your sacrifice for the group? Face it- nobody want to be the sucker who took one for the team and was ridiculed for their naivety.

What do you think? Comments?

  1. February 18, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    Another great post!

  2. ThousandMileMargin
    February 18, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    I think the west is currently going through an economic slump that will last well into the next decade, and this will create a generation that learns early that society considers it disposable.

    In the absence of trust people will transact on a “cash-only” basis. Loyalty and long-term commitments make no sense, you only “trade” with people who can offer a benefit right now. Next month they may have nothing to offer you. That’s true for jobs, friendships and sexual relationships. You do what works this week and you stop believing in the long-term, because you’ve learned that people don’t come through, and they’ll drop you when you are off no further use.

    So I think the west will become more of a “low-trust” culture – like the Third World. And I think living standards will decline accordingly, and crime will rise accordingly. Gang membership may rise as a reaction to the general low-trust culture.

    Low-Trust in an economic sense means less access to credit, higher interest rates for unsecured borrowing, a move towards lower private sector debt levels as a result. And a prolong depression as a move away from debt leads to lower spending. More of a cash economy than a credit economy. The declining economy leads to higher goverment deficits and eventually money printing and high inflation (e.g. Argentina) though I wouldn’t expect hyperinflation in any major economy.

    In a social sense Low-Trust means more short term relationships, with men avoiding any longer term commitments. And women adapting to a lessened chance of snagging a long-term provider by focusing more on a man’s capacity as a provider. That may sound a little paradoxical, but when finding a provider is easy women are free to focus more on looks, charm and popularity. When hard times make finding a provider harder AND more important, a man’s financial status moves to the top of the list in what women look for.

    So a more mercenary approach to relationships. Men trust women less, women are more focused on finding a good provider, which only reinforces the male perception that women just want a man to look after them and pay for everything, etc.

    I think you’ll see a split amongst women in that there’ll be a LOT more women who are prostitutes or gold-diggers – looking for the immediate financial benefit – and also a lot more who adopt the strategy of marketing themselves as a “traditional” girl and try to snag a beta provider for marriage at a relatively young age. I think that while the number of marriages might decline there will be a lot more girls looking for marriage in their early twenties because good providers will be in short supply and they can’t afford to wait.

    So the primary trend will be that all the men are thugs and all the girls are whores – think Russia immediately after Glasnost. But there’ll be a counter trend of young “good girls” marketing themselves as traditional women who can cook and keep house and know how to respect a man, so they can snag one of the relatively few stable beta providers at an early age (before the other girls get to him).

    • joesantus
      March 4, 2015 at 10:32 am

      “…But there’ll be a counter trend of young “good girls” marketing themselves as traditional women who can cook and keep house and know how to respect a man, so they can snag one of the relatively few stable beta providers at an early age (before the other girls get to him).”

      Meaning (assuming for this discussion that this counter trend occurs), the gender economy will then acknowlegedly function the way it has historically despite the denunciations and oppostions of idyllical wish-it-were-otherwisers: as an exchange of nurture/security for sex.

    • NickSwift
      December 21, 2020 at 8:16 am

      Shit, man…

      This was from 2012?


      It is chilling how accurate this comment proved to be. Nearly every word is as true as it was more than EIGHT years ago.

      The Eternal Question: How’s it going to end?

    • P Ray
      December 21, 2020 at 2:38 pm

      But there’ll be a counter trend of young “good girls” marketing themselves as traditional women who can cook and keep house and know how to respect a man, so they can snag one of the relatively few stable beta providers at an early age (before the other girls get to him).

      Those “good girls” are worthless unless they give the sex on the regular, around once every 2 days until death … which is what they definitely won’t do for the guys they are not attracted to and don’t respect.

      Since women like to give men pressure about what guys need to have achieved before and after courting them, men need to return the favour.

      (At least) Sex every 2 days for life, or divorce.

  3. AC
    February 19, 2012 at 10:01 am

    Too bad you’re feeling lonely today.

    And boy you like the word “nasty”.

  4. P Ray
    February 19, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    I think it’s great that more people are becoming cynical, because then the people who are “all hat and no cattle” get exposed.
    The jobs with the biggest losses will be the humanities, since more people will accept that customer contact personnel will lie to everyone to make a sale.
    That makes people with real technical expertise more valuable.
    Bring on the apocalypse, it’s going to be a fun ride.

    • joesantus
      March 4, 2015 at 11:56 am

      What’s ironic if not hilarious about “people becoming more cynical” is that my latter-half-of-the- USA-Baby-Boomers generation (I’m 59) WERE that kind of cynical in our teens through late twenties.

      The first half of the Baby Boomers (our older siblings, even if metaphorically) were optimistic if not idealistic; they sincerely believed “the system can be improved and wrongs corrected”.

      However, we later Boomers realized “the system protects itself from basic change and from liability”. We’d experienced the US government and politcos lying to us about Vietnam and Watergate, and corporations lying and manipulating concerning environmental hazards, products, and jobs. We’d already recognized the bullshit that is the essence of big-business advertising and marketing. I experienced that cynicism among my peers from high school through college.

      But, as always…subsequent generations come of age, can’t know these things aprt from experiential knowledge, so, have to learn the lessons for themselves. History merely cycles.

  5. P Ray
    March 1, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    How did a middle class woman with nine siblings lay dead and unnoticed for FIVE YEARS? Tragic story of Michigan IT worker, 44, found mummified when her home was seized over unpaid bills
    Pia Farrenkopf of Pontiac was found mummified in the backseat of her car
    Investigators believe she died at 44 in 2009 but it wasn’t until 2014 her body was discovered
    Relatives and a friend described Farrenkopf, who lived alone, as smart and fun but often solitary
    Her remains were in such a state of desiccation that the medical examiner was unable to conduct a full autopsy and the cause of death is unknown
    She was only discovered after bank foreclosed on her house


    Social atomization and “blood is thicker than water” (sarcasm) indeed …
    also, for the lols:
    “But the tank in the car still had two gallons of gas left, which led investigators to rule out carbon monoxide poisoning and her organs were so mummified, according to deputy medical examiner Dr Bernardino Pacris, making a toxicology report impossible. “

    • March 2, 2015 at 7:28 pm

      Yes, I remember that. Nasty shit!

      • P Ray
        September 25, 2019 at 12:07 am

        Here’s an even “better” one from the “Lesser Anglo-Saxon” country of New Zealand:
        Student’s death ‘inconceivable’: University of Canterbury vice-chancellor shocked
        Updated 29 Minutes Ago 25 Sep, 2019 7:34pm

        The University of Canterbury says it’s “inconceivable to imagine” how a student’s body lay unnoticed in student accommodation for nearly two months.

        On Monday evening, the body of a male student was discovered at the university’s Sonoda Christchurch Campus accommodation.

        The circumstances surrounding his death remain unclear, however a police disaster identification team (DVI) was called in to investigate.

        The body can lie unnoticed if you’re racist or indifferent. Or sexist. If it was a woman I’m sure it would have been discovered sooner – this was in student accommodation, not a single owner home.

      • P Ray
        September 26, 2019 at 9:57 pm

        Follow up:
        http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/116109926/student-accommodation-life-being-in-there-you-are-just-a-number – Student accommodation life ‘being in there you are just a number’

        (COMMENT: Probably because you’re not beautiful, promiscuous or drunk – those people never had problems of being alone at university)

        The funny thing about being treated as a number is … I applied for the position of Residential Assistant at my university.

        Was told by the Residential Manager that … “you don’t have the correct character or grades for this position”.

        Among the people he went on to hire for those positions …

        – one later went on to cheat International Students of money by promising them jobs that didn’t exist … which required payment for licensing that only he could provide … he also failed multiple papers at university.

        – one later went on to sexually assault his students at Whangarei Boy’s High School, plus collect pedo pictures. Was also a big social justice warrior, gay Catholic and … also failed multiple papers at university.

        So yeah … you can tell I have no sympathy for the victims of these people with “good personalities” that caused those who would actually do a proper job to lose opportunities. Remember, the superiors also shunted aside good people. So when they get the sharp end of the stick up the ass, victims need to remember: “These people were better than the other applicants”.

      • P Ray
        October 2, 2019 at 3:14 am

        Europe has the best deal though, Das ist wunderbar:
        Skeletal remains of a man, 59, and his dog are found in his German apartment after they lay dead for EIGHT YEARS
        Heinz H’s remains were found last month in a flat in Senden, western Germany
        Firemen broke into the flat while evacuating residents during a fire in the cellar
        He had last been seen alive in 2011 and his car was decaying outside the building

        Germany is probably the home of real social atomisation, where you have to make appointments to see your neighbours and probably everything closes up after 5pm.

        … and those guys created the Nazis? It must have been a lunchtime club …

      • P Ray
        September 4, 2020 at 11:34 am

        One more from the “most livable city in the world”, Melbourne:
        This was published 1 year ago

        ‘Loner’ died at home but no one noticed he’d gone for more than a year
        By Bryce Eishold
        July 19, 2019 — 11.39am

        No next-of-kin, no emergency contact details, no family or friends.

        That’s about all that is known about a 55-year-old man who died alone inside his Traralgon home.

        Uncollected mail outside the housing complex in Traralgon where the man’s body was found.
        Uncollected mail outside the housing complex in Traralgon where the man’s body was found. CREDIT:LATROBE VALLEY EXPRESS

        His body was found by police in his bedroom on July 4.

        But shockingly it’s believed the man, who has been described to police as a “loner”, could have died 15 months earlier.

        The man, whose death will be investigated by the coroner, relocated to the Latrobe Valley from Melbourne and moved into the unit weeks before the estimated time of his death.

        His utilities were still connected – in credit, in fact – and he had had no contact with police before his death.

        Milk in the man’s fridge dated back to April 2018, leading police to believe he may have died as early as late February that year.

        However, it’s believed the man, whose name has been withheld, had been in contact with management of the residential complex as late as June 2018.

        The discovery of his body was only made because his unit was due for an annual inspection and the manager of the complex, Eastcoast Housing, had been unable to contact the man for three months, police said.

        Remember, the only time you are important is 1)when they need to make sure that their property has not been damaged, 2)your bills are due or 3)someone else has complained about you.

  6. P Ray
    July 13, 2017 at 2:41 am

    Advocatus / Dissention called it first, years earlier. Fear the unwanted!
    Broken homes are fuelling TERRORISM: Family breakdown has reached ‘epidemic levels’, former High Court judge warns
    Sir Paul Coleridge said there was a link between family instability and terrorism
    He said terrorists are from ‘appalling backgrounds’ with ‘no ties’
    Sir Paul, 68, left his job as a High Court judge to promote Marriage Foundation

  7. P Ray
    September 10, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    In 2 statements seen recently, capitalism is truly being shown for what it is: a desperate desire to exploit and hold down working people, while talking about how “meritocracy” determines how far you get ahead:

    [–]A 17 points 1 day ago*
    I’m convinced that career and job search comments like “learn a trade” and “have you tried networking?” actually serve as thought-terminating cliches.

    Thought-terminating cliches are a feature of totalitarian regimes and cults. I think we’re trapped in the cult of capitalism and these are the T-T cliches we use. Whatever you question or complain about, the response you get ALWAYS circles back to it’s your fault because you’re doing the wrong things.

    And people really don’t like it when you push back and challenge a T-T cliche, which pretty much proves that it was intended to shut you down, not to understand or solve your problem.

    permalinkembedsaveparentreportgive awardreply

    [–]B 7 points 1 day ago
    I think we’re trapped in the cult of capitalism

    Bingo. We have the complete cult bingo. Infallible axioms, ostracizing outsiders, just-world fallacy, “just try harder” mentality, a priesthood upper class that somehow keep coming out on top. It even reached the point where countries have made “the economy numbers must be green” their central philosophy, not spending any thought on what those green numbers mean to the population or the ecosystem.

  8. P Ray
    December 20, 2020 at 5:32 pm

    However, people also forget that “depression” and “shyness” is a dual-use condition, but especially for girls/women.

    Here is a paraphrased Reddit example:
    I am in the throes of depression and anxiety disorder so I don’t reply on Reddit.

    See my OnlyFans and AdmireMe photos here:

    If you like my work go to my Venmo and Cashapp here:

    Ya … people with depression and anxiety enjoy showing off their body and collecting money for it, and at the same time tell men that they objectify women, are disgusting and worthless …

    Very few people want to address this side of depression and shyness, that it is used as a weapon by women.

  1. August 25, 2012 at 1:36 pm
  2. October 11, 2012 at 10:51 pm
  3. October 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm
  4. October 23, 2012 at 10:10 pm
  5. October 31, 2013 at 10:14 pm

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