Some Advice to ‘KneeHow’ and Others Like Him
More than a few of you might have noticed that one of the frequent commentators on this blog for the last few weeks is a person with the handle “Knee’. You might also have noticed that his questions are largely about issues related to using escorts for the first time. While I initially thought that he was just another young guy trying to get more information about using escorts etc, I now see that this is about something far deeper than escorts. So I did a little looking around on the ‘inter-tubes’ to understand why he was asking the same questions again and again. After looking through a lot of stuff, I have come to some preliminary conclusions about his predicament and here is my advice.
1. As much as I hate to say this, his traditional-minded parents are the single biggest problem in his life.
I was reading through posts on other bulletin boards to which ‘kneehow’ might have posted and one thing stood out- though he never said that openly. His relationship with his parents is strained in a very peculiar way. On one hand they have gone to great lengths to help him get the best education possible, yet on the other hand they have infantilized him (in their minds at least) to the extent he deeply resents it. While their attitudes and actions might have something to do with his chronic health issues- I could not escape the feeling that he sees their influence on his life as largely negative.
Let us specifically consider the possibility that his chronic health issues might result in his premature death. The very fact that his mother is negatively concerned about his interest in prostitutes inspite of the knowledge about his health status and general awkwardness around women is really sad. Then again, her attitudes are unfortunately common among those from Asian cultures where a narrow-minded autistic drive for money and education supersedes even the most basic human desires. Unfortunately this is also the one area where I cannot directly help him or anybody in his position.
I guess that being upfront with one of his parents might work especially if they understand the implications that their child has a chronic life-threatening health condition. Then again, the Asian ‘mind’ works in bizarre ways.
2. A lot of his other problems are due to poor self-image.
While there may be very valid reasons behind his poor-self image, trying to fix them beyond a point is worse than useless. You can certainly dress better, get a nice haircut, work out etc- but the benefits of such changes will quickly reach a point of saturation for what he really wants. There is a big gap between being a stylish and fitter version of yourself and being a male actor or model. The reality is that almost no amount of self-improvement can get him what the type of attention he so desperately wants. The alternative is to improve to the level you can and ignore the opinions and views of other people. Fact it.. in this era the opinions of others around you are largely irrelevant as almost nobody who you know will lend you 20$- even if you desperately needed it. We no longer live in a world where relatives, friends or good acquaintances can be trusted or relied upon.
So don’t bother with impressing people who don’t matter. Furthermore, there is also no point in going overboard trying to impress women when 180$/hr can get them to have great sex with you- regardless of how you look (though looking like a hideous creature might not be helpful). However I don’t think ‘kneehow’ looks like a hideous creature- so he has to learn to ignore the opinions of those who don’t matter. Never forget that the opinions of almost everyone on earth except a few people you have known for decades are worse than useless and irrelevant. Becoming a misanthrope, like me, also helps.
Now that does not mean you should act like a spontaneous and complete asshole. Just remember that you have no obligation, whatsoever, to treat ANYONE better than they treat you- regardless of how much they need you.
What do you guys think? Comments?