Irrational Customs: Men Proposing to Women
While drinking some coffee at Starbucks today I overheard the same basic conversation between two sets of women. It went something like this:
Women A: My friend X is waiting for her boyfriend Y to pop the question. They have been a couple for ‘n’ years.. yada yada
Women B: So when do you think he will do it? My friend’s boyfriend Y1 popped her(X1) the question ‘m’ months ago when they were at ‘insert vacation destination’.
Now, I should be upfront that my views on the institution of marriage have always been a bit cynical. However some aspects of that institution are more bizarre and irrational than others.
Consider the commonly accepted custom that the guy should propose to the girl- preferably under some cheesy circumstances. We have all seen elaborate marriage proposals (both creative and cringe-worthy), especially in the era of YouTube and Social Media. While I have no interest in preventing people from making fools of themselves, one question about the whole concept of marriage proposals has always bothered me.
What is the logic behind a guy creatively begging some woman to marry him, when doing so puts him at a permanent disadvantage? Isn’t that a lot like dreaming up a creative way to get a painful and chronic disease?
Throughout human history, marriage has been the shortest route to dull and increasingly infrequent sex with an aging harpy. Today, it is also the fastest way to lose money and assets though child-support and alimony. Moreover, it is no longer an institution that offers men any real support or proof of achievement as they become old.
Marriage, as it exists today, is an institution devoted to transferring money and resources from gullible men to women without even the pretense of benefiting men in any shape or form.
However, we still keep on seeing creative marriage proposals by guys to women who has ridden dozens of cocks before ‘settling’ for them. A majority of those guys also, still, believe that marrying the woman they are proposing to will partially validate the supposed benefits of getting married. In contrast, women are interested in getting married because a] they are hitting the ‘wall’, b] her other friends have ‘done it’ and c] she requires a larger income to indulge her material appetite.
If we strip away the sentimentality and bullshit from modern marriage, one thing becomes painfully obvious. There is no real advantage or gain for a man in marrying a woman he is already fucking. Even if the couple break up, the guy can always find another woman to fuck or just pay for sex by the hour. Marriage, on the other hand, makes him financially and socially vulnerable- even if the couple stay together. The woman, on the other hand, benefits immensely from marriage because it gives her more resources and leverage over the man even as her physical appeal fades into obscurity. It is therefore the woman who really needs and benefits from the institution of marriage.
The customs around marriage are, however, still grounded in the belief that it is men who require marriage more than the women.
While there may have been some truth to this belief in the era before the sexual revolution, modern contraception and feminism; that is no longer the case. Today sexual access to willing women is rather inexpensive if you can convince them that you are a cool player. Furthermore the mainstreaming of safe and high-quality paid sex in most developed countries means that even average guys can get amazing sex at much lower per-fuck rates than marriage while simultaneously avoiding long-term commitments.
I would add my observation that women have no problem sexually servicing a ‘unpredictable, ‘violent’, ‘mysterious’ or ‘in-demand’ guy for years without any offer of marriage. They will however threaten the caring, responsible, bland and ‘educated’ guy with ultimatums for ‘popping the question’.
What do you think? Comments?