What I Really Think About Human Beings as a Species: 2
Towards the end of my previous post in this series, I made a claim/observation about the prime motivation behind most human behavior.
It is as if most human beings are actively driven a unscratchable itch to hurt, abuse, enslave and kill others even if they stand to gain very little from it.
While I had previously suggested that certain behaviors are driven by this urge- it was the first time I said that it pervaded every facet of human behavior/thought including their products such as popular belief systems, schemes of interpersonal interactions and world-views. Now that I have let the proverbial cat out of its bag, let us see if we can apply this insight to better understand some common, but perplexing, human behaviors.
The behavior of women towards men, and other women, is a good place to start- largely because previous theories about what motivates them to behave the way they do are based on unchallenged speculation. Historically the bizarre and highly adversarial behavior of women towards men, including those who apparently care about them, has been blamed on everything from brain size, hormones and socialization. However it is clear that all of those explanations are based in outright bullshit and plausible-sounding lies.
For example, there is no evidence that women are intellectually inferior to men or in any way less mentally developed than men. Indeed, the converse is often true. Therefore explanations about the behavior of women based on their inability to comprehend the ‘big picture’ are utter bullshit. The ‘hormonal’ explanation is basically an updated version of the old brain size/ intellectual capacity explanation. It requires you to believe that periodic hormonal shifts in women somehow result in long-term and progressive mental incapacitation as opposed to small short-term mood fluctuations. The ‘socialization’ explanation is based on the idea that spending time around and interacting with other women makes them adversarial towards men and other women. I will let the reader think through the irrationality of that previous sentence.
The systemically adversarial behavior of women towards men (including the ones they profess/ professed to love) cannot be explained through any popular explanation for such behavior.
Then there are those who believe that such behavior can be explained by a sophistic pseudoscience known as evolutionary psychology. But can it really do that? Is a “discipline” based in sophistic modeling of facts to create fictitious correlations any better than astrology? While I can certainly believe that women might be more horny at some points in their menstrual cycle than others, can we really extend that concept to decisions that have long-term impacts – especially when there is considerable uncertainty about the final outcome? My point is, there is a huge difference between a woman being extra flirty mid-cycle and her using complicated but supposedly unconscious mental calculus to determine the order in which she will have sex with a bunch of guys- some of whom she has not even met yet.
And this brings us to my general theory about the motivation for most human behavior.
As you might have noticed, the previous theories about the reasons underlying the adversarial behavior of women towards men have a few common elements. All of them try to portray women as creatures at the mercy of external circumstances, forces or greater currents of history. It is supposedly always someone or something else’s fault! It is as if they are not as sentient as other human beings. But why do most men want to believe that? Well.. because the alternative is that such behavior is largely endogenous and completely intentional.
So how does applying my idea to real life examples of such behavior look like? Does it provide a better and more complete explanation of observations?
Let us start by talking about the almost universal and progressive decline in sexual activity seen in long-term relationships. Is it really inevitable or “natural”? I am not suggesting that having sex with someone after you have had sex with them for the last decade is as going to be as exciting as it was in the first few weeks of the relationship. However, it also clear that in most long-term heterosexual relationships the amount of sexual contact keeps on dropping to a point where people have sex once or twice a month just to make themselves believe that they are still in a real relationship. Moreover, this drop in the frequency of sexual activity is linked to duration of the relationship rather than the age of the individuals in the couple implying that hormones and aging are not the major factor behind this decline. Furthermore, couples in non-legally binding relationships do not experience the same drop in the frequency of sexual activity as those in marriages.
Now.. most people will tell you that such a decline is due to things like boredom, familiarity, other stresses in life, children etc. But is that true? If all of those factors were the real reasons behind this drop, they would also have a similar effect on the frequency of masturbation. But they don’t! The frequency of masturbation, especially among males, remains fairly constant- especially in comparison to the drop in sexual activity with their female “partner”. Similarly the frequency of sex between gay men in long-term relationships does not exhibit the same sort of precipitous drop as that seen in heterosexual relationships. The precipitous drop in the frequency of sexual activity in heterosexual relationships can therefore be isolated to women. It is either that or men prefer masturbation to a readily available and half-decent blowjob or fuck.
So what might cause women to lose interest in sex? or do they even lose interest in the first place? Well.. based on the number of 30-40 something women who buy vibrators, read romance novels, cheat on their spouses or divorce them and then slut around- it is clear that female desire remains pretty constant even if its expression with their “partners” is greatly reduced. So why would a woman prefer to use a vibrator or slut around with somebody else rather than have sex with her long-term boyfriend or husband. I mean.. using sex toys and cheating is not even mutually incompatible with having frequent sex with the long-term boyfriend or husband in question. So what can best explain this behavior?
In my opinion, a strong basic desire to hurt and abuse the boyfriend or husband for the sake of watching him suffer is the best fit for what is observed. It is not about profiting from inflicting misery on others. It is about enjoying and feeling alive from inflicting misery on others.
Which brings us the next question. Why don’t women pull that same crap in short-term relationships or early in a long-term relationship? Well.. it is about feasibility. Denying sex in short-term relationships or early in long-term relationships will almost certainly make the relationship fall apart. That is also why such behavior is less common or intense in non-legally binding relationships. Any situation where the guy can, or will, walk out on the woman reduces the probability that she will deny sex.
The denial of sex in a relationship which the guy cannot easily abandon is intentional. We can argue about whether such behavior is logical and/or rational, but make no mistake- it is totally intentional.
Will explain my idea with more common examples in future posts.
What do you think? Comments?