Home > Critical Thinking, Current Affairs, Dystopia, Musings, Philosophy sans Sophistry, Reason, Secular Religions, Skepticism > What I Really Think About Human Beings as a Species: 2

What I Really Think About Human Beings as a Species: 2

Towards the end of my previous post in this series, I made a claim/observation about the prime motivation behind most human behavior.

It is as if most human beings are actively driven a unscratchable itch to hurt, abuse, enslave and kill others even if they stand to gain very little from it.

While I had previously suggested that certain behaviors are driven by this urge- it was the first time I said that it pervaded every facet of human behavior/thought including their products such as popular belief systems, schemes of interpersonal interactions and world-views. Now that I have let the proverbial cat out of its bag, let us see if we can apply this insight to better understand some common, but perplexing, human behaviors.

The behavior of women towards men, and other women, is a good place to start- largely because previous theories about what motivates them to behave the way they do are based on unchallenged speculation. Historically the bizarre and highly adversarial behavior of women towards men, including those who apparently care about them, has been blamed on everything from brain size, hormones and socialization. However it is clear that all of those explanations are based in outright bullshit and plausible-sounding lies.

For example, there is no evidence that women are intellectually inferior to men or in any way less mentally developed than men. Indeed, the converse is often true. Therefore explanations about the behavior of women based on their inability to comprehend the ‘big picture’ are utter bullshit. The ‘hormonal’ explanation is basically an updated version of the old brain size/ intellectual capacity explanation. It requires you to believe that periodic hormonal shifts in women somehow result in long-term and progressive mental incapacitation as opposed to small short-term mood fluctuations. The ‘socialization’ explanation is based on the idea that spending time around and interacting with other women makes them adversarial towards men and other women. I will let the reader think through the irrationality of that previous sentence.

The systemically adversarial behavior of women towards men (including the ones they profess/ professed to love) cannot be explained through any popular explanation for such behavior.

Then there are those who believe that such behavior can be explained by a sophistic pseudoscience known as evolutionary psychology. But can it really do that? Is a “discipline” based in sophistic modeling of facts to create fictitious correlations any better than astrology? While I can certainly believe that women might be more horny at some points in their menstrual cycle than others, can we really extend that concept to decisions that have long-term impacts – especially when there is considerable uncertainty about the final outcome? My point is, there is a huge difference between a woman being extra flirty mid-cycle and her using complicated but supposedly unconscious mental calculus to determine the order in which she will have sex with a bunch of guys- some of whom she has not even met yet.

And this brings us to my general theory about the motivation for most human behavior.

As you might have noticed, the previous theories about the reasons underlying the adversarial behavior of women towards men have a few common elements. All of them try to portray women as creatures at the mercy of external circumstances, forces or greater currents of history. It is supposedly always someone or something else’s fault! It is as if they are not as sentient as other human beings. But why do most men want to believe that? Well.. because the alternative is that such behavior is largely endogenous and completely intentional.

So how does applying my idea to real life examples of such behavior look like? Does it provide a better and more complete explanation of observations?

Let us start by talking about the almost universal and progressive decline in sexual activity seen in long-term relationships. Is it really inevitable or “natural”? I am not suggesting that having sex with someone after you have had sex with them for the last decade is as going to be as exciting as it was in the first few weeks of the relationship. However, it also clear that in most long-term heterosexual relationships the amount of sexual contact keeps on dropping to a point where people have sex once or twice a month just to make themselves believe that they are still in a real relationship. Moreover, this drop in the frequency of sexual activity is linked to duration of the relationship rather than the age of the individuals in the couple implying that hormones and aging are not the major factor behind this decline. Furthermore, couples in non-legally binding relationships do not experience the same drop in the frequency of sexual activity as those in marriages.

Now.. most people will tell you that such a decline is due to things like boredom, familiarity, other stresses in life, children etc. But is that true? If all of those factors were the real reasons behind this drop, they would also have a similar effect on the frequency of masturbation. But they don’t! The frequency of masturbation, especially among males, remains fairly constant- especially in comparison to the drop in sexual activity with their female “partner”. Similarly the frequency of sex between gay men in long-term relationships does not exhibit the same sort of precipitous drop as that seen in heterosexual relationships. The precipitous drop in the frequency of sexual activity in heterosexual relationships can therefore be isolated to women. It is either that or men prefer masturbation to a readily available and half-decent blowjob or fuck.

So what might cause women to lose interest in sex? or do they even lose interest in the first place? Well.. based on the number of 30-40 something women who buy vibrators, read romance novels, cheat on their spouses or divorce them and then slut around- it is clear that female desire remains pretty constant even if its expression with their “partners” is greatly reduced. So why would a woman prefer to use a vibrator or slut around with somebody else rather than have sex with her long-term boyfriend or husband. I mean.. using sex toys and cheating is not even mutually incompatible with having frequent sex with the long-term boyfriend or husband in question. So what can best explain this behavior?

In my opinion, a strong basic desire to hurt and abuse the boyfriend or husband for the sake of watching him suffer is the best fit for what is observed. It is not about profiting from inflicting misery on others. It is about enjoying and feeling alive from inflicting misery on others.

Which brings us the next question. Why don’t women pull that same crap in short-term relationships or early in a long-term relationship? Well.. it is about feasibility. Denying sex in short-term relationships or early in long-term relationships will almost certainly make the relationship fall apart. That is also why such behavior is less common or intense in non-legally binding relationships. Any situation where the guy can, or will, walk out on the woman reduces the probability that she will deny sex.

The denial of sex in a relationship which the guy cannot easily abandon is intentional. We can argue about whether such behavior is logical and/or rational, but make no mistake- it is totally intentional.

Will explain my idea with more common examples in future posts.

What do you think? Comments?

  1. Creepstrr
    June 25, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Well you just answered why mgtows are the most hated

    They are ready to walk at the drop of a hat

  2. webe
    June 26, 2014 at 2:36 am

    The theory might need more than a single example…
    In terms of the waning sexual output (in some cultures known as woman’s work), there are other hypotheses possible. The first that comes to mind is that withholding sex is balancing considerable disappointment, resentment, and aggrievement at her megalomaniac entitlement and dreams not being fulfilled.

  3. P Ray
    June 26, 2014 at 8:44 pm

    There’s less sex involved the moment the woman realises the guy is on the hook for the rest of his life.
    Observe that the guys having lots of sex, have other options beyond the girl they’re with AND the girl they’re with, knows that.
    Which is why women strive to make sure men have little to no choice, via anti-prostitution laws, de-facto marriage laws, alimony for girlfriends(!)
    the feminist movement’s main goal is to reduce male choice in female partners, to force men to dedicate their lives to unattractive, high spending, ruinously expensive feminist sex partners.

    • P Ray
      June 26, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      And to explain the high divorce rate,
      remember, most women “marry men they know very well”.
      That means, they select for the guy who is “the least worst” option(for them).
      In other words, the fellow they can count on to be most able to be extorted by them.
      That is why many practise “social isolation”(for the guy) and “social butterfly”(for themselves):
      they can build social pressure towards the guy to “act right”(be a doormat for them), while getting support and reinforcement from her harpy friends.
      Of course, lots of women will angrily say “We don’t want doormats”, but that’s an incomplete sentence.
      They don’t want men who “are doormats for everyone” but “men who are doormats for only me”.

    • travel
      June 27, 2014 at 3:35 am

      Yep, most men think they have it made when I go on FB and see pics of average (or below) men with 6-7/10 women who they are in “relationships” with. In reality, these guys are unaware that they are nothing more than omega providers.

      The only reason Canada is trying (and I think they will succeed) to ban paid sex is that it would manipulate beta (most) men into settling for marriage. Porn and international trips to see escorts are still a much better option.

  4. June 27, 2014 at 6:50 am

    Female sexuality is on the rise and women know that whatever one man will not do, another one will. But that isn’t limited to sex only as it has everything to do with depending on a man’s finances and a man’s gullibility to believe the Judas Kisses (lies) these women blow out of their mouths. Why a woman would replace her husband with sex toys? Because again, a woman’s sex drive is higher than a man’s sex drive. In comparison, it’s like comparing a Ferrari to a Monte Carlo (even if the guy is an alpha). But along with the experimentation of female sexuality comes a whole lot of other bullshit, such as women envying eachother, having sex with guys only to one-up or out-do their girlfriends or other women who they see as a threat to them (which is why some women hate men who have options) and this attitude can also be observed by average dudes even on Facebook (which is why Jack Donovan wrote “The Key Logger”), etc. Females complain about guys being players, studs and alphas, but the shit these women do can make the most hardcore player look like a church boy.

    Game blogs talk alot about the “Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks” theory, which is 100% accurate. In other words, they chase alphas for the fucks and marry the betas for the bucks. To put it bluntly, they fuck the bad ones and marry the good ones. Basically, bitches want to have their cake and eat it too. I’ve dealt with a lot of that up until I started seeing sex workers last year and I realize how much more stress-free, productive and focused and high-value I am. The reason why feminists and their Captain Save-A-Hoe gatekeepers hate things like prostitution AND porn is because they generally want men to scrape up some ghetto hoodrat or mediocre flabby ugly white trash cougar and marry her, deal with kids, baggage and attitudes that are not his, etc. The few dudes who women ARE attracted to aren’t having it.

    Check out this article from Alan Roger Currie:


    • EvilOne
      June 27, 2014 at 7:03 pm

      I think you exaggerate. Quite a few good looking women are tied up in relationships with good looking guys more or less monogamously. The guys dont have the sexual currency to be alphas, but are fit and with good looking faces and usually taller than the girl but not 6 footers. I call em ‘joined at the hip’ relationships because thats what they are.

    • June 29, 2014 at 7:19 am

      CORRECTION: Nicholas Jack* wrote “The Key Logger”. Not Jack Donovan. My error.

  5. blurkel
    June 28, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    “The precipitous drop in the frequency of sexual activity in heterosexual relationships can therefore be isolated to women.”

    When one considers that there is no gay male analog to lesbian bed death, and that hetero relationships more often have the male partner complaining about the lack of sex, what other conclusion can be drawn?

    Women are trained by their mothers to use sex as a Pavlovian reward system for desired behavior. This is only applied until he is “trained” to her satisfaction. Once that happens, she knows she has control over him and feels secure in cutting off the goodies.

    In addition, look at the number of post-menopausal women who brag about not needing a man in their lives versus those who complain that they can’t find a man who wants sex with them?

  6. masculineffort
    June 30, 2014 at 11:12 pm

    “It is as if most human beings are actively driven a unscratchable itch to hurt, abuse, enslave and kill others even if they stand to gain very little from it”

    Not most, only those seeking political or bureaucratic power

  7. Angelic Doctor
    July 2, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    Actually, people’s sex drive does decrease as they get older. And it is difficult to have sex with small children around (unless you are OK with child abuse, you wind up working around the child’s schedule). A married couple with children is managing a household, which is exhausting. This is an interesting blog but this particular line of argument is really weak.

    • joesantus
      July 3, 2014 at 8:44 am

      True, but with some qualifications and elaborations needed.

      I’m a 58-yr-old, 5’8″, self-employed blue collar US male, average but fit looks, agnostic, married 34 years,with five now-grown kids.

      My wife and I have been swingers/open marrieds for decades. We’re friends with several similar long-together couples and with individuals who’ve had children. Consequently, I’ve had some opportunity to observe and experience how aging and child-raising affects sexual dynamics in both ourselves and in other people, especially women.

      Generally, while most people’s libidos diminish at least a bit as they age, especially past age 50, many if not most women’s diminish more substantially than men’s, especially when women undergo perimenopause.

      While having and caring for children (I shouldered what for my generation of men was a substantially larger part of that for our kids) can fatigue parents and does restrict a couple’s sex life, it diminishes most women’s sexual interest and libidos far more than it diminishes most men’s.

      So, while the validity of the article might remain debatable, the reality is that many if most men’s sexual needs aren’t greatly diminished by aging nor child-raising. Many if not most men seem to be fairly linear in their sexual needs, with just a slight and gradual decline sometime after 50.

      I’ve often mused about writing a booklet for young guys considering marriage or long-term commitments entitled something like, “Don’t Let Her Fool You: why, no matter how insatiably horny she seems now, she most-likely won’t more than three years from now!”, lol.

      • blurkel
        July 3, 2014 at 2:59 pm

        Keep me in mind when you publish. I’ll need a couple of copies.

      • Milhouse
        July 5, 2014 at 11:31 am

        You need to give us more details. What is the swinging life like? Are you fucking other men’s wives without a condom and vice versa? Do you kiss them? It’s so fucking strange to think about that. As a guy in 20s, that sounds really fun though. Obviously, you need to bring a wife to it, which I don’t have. I mean, how the fuck does swinging work? Do you guys all live in the same city and organize get-togethers? I’m sure it’s a great way to keep your marriages fresh with other partners. Do you get attached to certain wives? How do you keep that going with the knowledge that your wife is getting fucked by another guy and sucking his dick? Is it a trade-off with you getting to lick another guy’s wife’s pussy and tits and fuck her pussy raw?

      • Snowy
        December 6, 2014 at 6:57 pm

        With all the swinging going on, joesantus, do you fuck your wife at all? Does your wife fuck you at all?Seems to defeat one of the major purposes of marriage: sex between husband and wife; wife satisfying her husband sexually.

      • joesantus
        December 9, 2014 at 10:28 am

        “With all the swinging going on, joesantus, do you fuck your wife at all? Does your wife fuck you at all?Seems to defeat one of the major purposes of marriage: sex between husband and wife; wife satisfying her husband sexually.”

        Yep, my wife and I regularly have sex with each other. Nope, not nearly as frequently as back when we were dating and newly-married (when her libido was higher and so on), but consistently.

        A misconception about swinging/open marrieds seems to be that they typically don’t ever have sex with each other. I suppose that may be true for some, but it’s not true for any swinging/open married couples we’ve ever met.

        While I recognize that most people — including most guys — are unable to cope with a partner/spouse having sex with others. and that, consequently, swinging/open marriage isn’t a workable option for most,; for those of us who are capable, it more-nearly resolves the difficulties of incompatible libidos between spouses as well as of the “same-old-thing” boredom that sex in long-term relationships inevitably (and unavoidably) develops.

        And, just so you young guys for whom my lifestyle sounds idyllic know …in the end, open marriage/swinging is same as everything else in life: it inevitably contains and causes problems and has its own set of difficulties. Because, nothin’ in human life comes without problems — life is finally about choosing which set of problems we prefer to deal with.

  8. therationalist
    August 1, 2014 at 10:27 pm

    I think you’re wrong when you say a person can gain little from killing or enslaving others
    If you enslave someone then he works for you for free
    This world has finite resources
    So every other person you kill mean there’s more resources for you to take

    Trying to corner more resources than you can ever use is irrational as ALL human beings are mortal. What is the point of ceaselessly accumulating what you can never use?

    • joesantus
      August 2, 2014 at 12:07 pm

      But, then, isn’t the very fact of seeking to survive, period, likewise irrational, since we each die, pointlessly, anyway? In the end, even if we’ve accumulated merely a speck, we can’t even use that.

      Much — maybe most? — of what we humans seem motivated to do is ultimately irrational. Ceaselessly accumulating ultimately unusable stuff may merely be another of our spectrum of irrational behaviors (in which a “desire to inflict pain upon others” seems to me to fit).

    • Thomas
      February 14, 2016 at 3:17 pm

      So that your genes in the form of offspring can continue with the greatest chance of survival ?

      • March 3, 2018 at 4:46 am

        …yet, what is point of my genes continuing? Essentially, the point becomes, “ensure my genes survive in order for them to reproduce more genes, whose purpose is to survive to reproduce more genes, whose purpose is to survive to reproduce yet-more genes, etcetera ad infinitum”.

        In otherwords, accumulating stuff so that my genes and their future offspring survive is ultimately pointless, since its only purpose is to continue a chain of my genes which serves no purpose other than self-existence. It’s therefore irrational.

  9. September 9, 2016 at 4:34 pm

    In my opinion, a strong basic desire to hurt and abuse the boyfriend or husband for the sake of watching him suffer is the best fit for what is observed. It is not about profiting from inflicting misery on others. It is about enjoying and feeling alive from inflicting misery on others.

    I don’t think it’s that deep in the case of women cheating on their husbands for “bad boys”, or women who prefer sex toys instead of having sex with the average man. It’s almost humanly impossible for one man or group of men to have or be the best of everything. How many men like that make up the human population? Maybe 1% or 5% – most of whom are athletes, entertainers and musicians. A man can’t be a 8-12 hour workhorse daily, then give a woman leg shaking orgasms.

    Like you’ve also said in another blog topic about scheduling intimacy, it’s delusional to assume a man ow woman in marital mode isn’t gonna want to try something new, different or extra on the side.

  10. P Ray
    January 30, 2021 at 11:35 am

    Remember this photo:

    A homeless, attractive guy, that she fucked once when she was at her most attractive, is more important and memorable to her than the guy who married her and paid for her kids.

    That’s why women like to keep their past private.
    Because it would make men less likely to want to be with her.

  1. July 13, 2014 at 6:44 pm

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