Home > Critical Thinking, Musings > Halloween Could be Improved by Moving it to the Last Friday in October

Halloween Could be Improved by Moving it to the Last Friday in October

Being a bit bored today, I decided to look around in my list of drafts to see if there was anything topical which could be published with minimum effort. I came across one unusual but relevant concept written while clearly under the influence. Long story short, I am proposing that we move Halloween from the 31st of October (each year) to the last Friday of October. To be fair, I am not the first person to suggest that moving around the date of Halloween a bit would make it a more fun and memorable holiday. More than a few have, in the past, suggested that it should moved to last Saturday in October. But my idea is much better for reasons that are listed below.

1] Halloween, at least in North America, is a highly commercialized “holiday”. Yes.. I am aware that it began as an ancient pagan Celtic celebration which was later appropriated by Christianity. But Halloween in North America has, for decades, become one more occasion for business to sell more cheap candy, mass-produced decorations, kid costumes, booze and slutty costumes for girls who are too old to go trick-or-treating. I guess we can also add releases of supernatural and horror themed movies and special episodes of TV shows to this list. In other words, it is about making money by selling cheap food, plastic kitsch, booze, movie tickets and advertising.

Since the date of October 31st now has no significance to over 99% of the population, I do not foresee many objecting to a change in the date as long as it still close to the end of that month. As many of you know, Halloween does not even fall on a weekend most of the time. My clever plan would instantly convert a wandering commercial holiday which usually falls on weekdays to one that covers an entire long weekend. Now every single Halloween would be a three-day long affair with two weekend nights for serious partying, drinking and debauchery. Business could sell more booze, food to adults and whatever they are already selling to kids and their parents would not be affected. I see this as a win-win situation for everyone except Wiccans.

2] Currently, most younger adults get drunk/ high and wear costumes on only one day of the weekend before (or on Halloween). My proposal will instantly, and consistently, double available opportunities to get drunk and do stupid shit. It will also instantly doubles the excuses for chicks to dress like sluts and indulge in debauchery. That translates into double the opportunities to hook up with chicks who claim that they “do not do stuff like in that their normal life”. Nobody other than spoilsport feminists and other assorted pearl-clutchers would have a problem with more people getting laid. I say we just ignore those sad losers and keep having a good time.

I should also point out that the Sunday of this new long weekend would provide an adequate opportunity to recover from hangover and fatigue caused by two nights of drinking and general debauchery. Halloween is after all a pagan celebration.. you know. Now I do realize that in 2018, all this excess drinking and partying might increase the number of women claiming sexual assault or unwanted sexual advances. But that also is a good thing (at least under capitalism) because it creates more paid work for some lawyers and doctors not to mention all those administrative busybodies on university campuses and within corporations.

In summary, shifting the date of Halloween from October 31st to the last Friday of that month would create a lot of new commercial opportunities for businesses to sell even more crap to people. It should also significantly increase enjoyment of this holiday by most people (even if they don’t remember it that well) and might even help get some of them laid. The sequelae of this holiday will create new opportunities for some lawyers, doctors and administrative busybodies, thus providing a further boost to the national GDP.

What do you think? Comments?

  1. Jack Ross
    October 16, 2018 at 9:42 pm

    “The sequelae of this holiday will create new opportunities for some lawyers, doctors and administrative busybodies, thus providing a further boost to the national GDP.”

    Looks like you’re the type of person to believe in the ‘The Broken Window Fallacy’.

  2. Neo
    October 17, 2018 at 3:47 am

    I’d be OK with Halloween becoming as irrelevant to people as the Maypole.

  3. Gp
    October 18, 2018 at 8:53 am

    AD, off topic, but how do you view adultery? Do you think it is a sin?

    I do not believe in marriage or religion. Make a guess?

  4. NeewWeen
    October 29, 2018 at 8:01 pm

    This resolution passed to make Halloween the last Friday of the month.
    Many companies continue to sell candy that contains hydrogenated oil or partially-hydrogenated oil that is harmful to people/children. Similar to the Judicial Crisis Network being connected with Catholics, the so-called National Center On Sexual Exploitation (that has a anti-pornography political agenda that doesn’t believe in the separation of church and state, and began in 1962 as Morality In Media by Morton A. Hill, SJ a Jesuit Catholic priest, not to be confused with Jerry “against Hustler and against the Teletubbies” Falwell’s Moral Majority, and the current anti-porn CEO of NCOSE who is connected with Catholic tv stations and Catholic publications who met the Catholic Pope) is an organization that has a yearly so-called by them Dirty Dozen hit list (some of which Trump has hit before) got Walmart to remove magazines that often have the word sex on the cover because they falsely believe that word “harms children,” and yet none of them speak out against Catholic pedophile priests or call for removing candy with partially-hydrogenated oil that does harm children.
    As with ancient festivals around the harvest and planting of crops, such as the Winter Solstice where the Sun in the sky “dies” on December 21 and three days later “rises from the dead” on December 25, it is considered that the Maypole may have similarities with the Asherah Pole. Asherah was a consort/wife of El/Baal and then Yahweh (before Judaism became monotheistic and before Asherah was removed as was the Golden Calf representing the Egyptian Hathor also, Asherah was a consort/wife of Yahweh). Asherah (Asherah Pole)/Elat/Al-Lat/Antu goes back to fertility “sex” goddesses and thousands of years of fertility “sex” worship such as Ishtar and Hieros Gamos/Sacred Prostitution.
    The Holy Grail had the “Holy” part added by Christians, but before then (not to get into the stars such as the seven stars of the Pleiades, as above so below stuff) had similarities with the Celtic Bran’s Cauldron, and the earlier Egyptian and Sumerian Graal (vessel/some have considered writing on stone/bowl/cup possibly of Al/El) such as the Sumerian Grail of King Gudea. Around this time they were interacting with Goa in India. King Gudea was Ensi (ruler/governor). EN was for a Lord/Priest. Lugal was for ruler/Big Man/Great Man/King. Similar to throughout the ages attempted alchemy; Magic Cauldron’s are often a theme on Halloween.

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