Posts Tagged ‘effects’

Why Escorts are Always a Better Deal than Relationships or Marriage: 4

November 4, 2018 59 comments

In the previous post of this series, I mentioned that my escort use increased a lot after starting at a new job near a large cosmopolitan city. FYI, this was not my original plan and I would have preferred something approaching normie relationships. However it quickly became obvious to me that all the ‘unpaid’ chicks I could get were.. to put it mildly.. lacking in the looks department in addition to displaying an attitude derived from their racist mindset. My point is that just because you end up fucking a chick on a regular basis does not mean she is not racist. I am also aware that some of you might see this as an example of me being too demanding.

So why care about a moderately racist mindset in some girl you are regularly banging? And aren’t most escorts also a bit racist? Let me tackle the later issue first. See.. an escort showing a racist worldview is problematic only if her beliefs negatively affects the services she provides. As long as the quality and range of services provided are identical irrespective of race and ethnicity of client, her beliefs are largely irrelevant. This is analogous to a moderately anti-semitic waitress having to regularly serve groups of Jewish customers. As long as she does her job well, keeps her fat mouth shut and fake-smiles often, nobody gives a fuck.

In other words, escorts displaying ambient levels of racism are not as problematic as ‘unpaid’ chicks with a similarly racist mindset. But why is that so, and what makes ‘unpaid’ chicks having a racist mindset problematic in the first place? Well.. it comes down to racism being just one manifestation of a far deeper problem known as systemic ‘magical thinking‘. To be fair, the problem lies not so much with magical thinking as it does with not recognizing it as such. We all engage in some level of magical thinking on a daily basis, but most of the time we recognize and treat it that way. Let me explain this concept with a couple of relatable examples.

Over the years I have purchased a few lottery tickets, even though I was always aware that my chances of winning a large prize or the jackpot were infinitesimally small. Similarly, there have been times when I used to frequently check newspaper horoscopes- even though I didn’t believe in astrology. Without going into much detail, I did both things during a couple of periods in my life when things did not look particularly positive. One might ask.. what is the real difference between a person who buys lottery tickets once in a while and woman with a racist mindset, if both are examples of magical thinking?

In my opinion, it comes down to self-awareness. While I used to buy lottery tickets and check horoscopes, it never occurred to me to build my life around winning a jackpot or some newspaper horoscope coming true. As far as I was concerned, both were nothing more than entertainment. Now contrast this with how a racist mindset distorts a woman’s grasp on reality. As I mentioned in an older post, a number of very average and mediocre women who rejected me have had sex with some real ‘winners’ in the past. Have you wondered how all those average, mediocre and below-average chicks were able to justify their life choices and decisions?

It comes down to one variant of magical thinking aka racism. You see.. they believed that despite their utter mediocrity and general patheticness, they were somehow intrinsically “better” than and or “superior” to non-whites. Furthermore, this belief cannot be changed since it part of their self-identity and they will keep believing in it till their death. While it is possible to find individuals who are less fucked up in the head, they are the minority. But why is this such a problem for having anything approaching a normie relationship. Well.. it comes down to them deluding themselves into believing that they have leverage over you when they do not have any.

I have seen tons of women with no career prospects, no independent source of money, extremely mediocre looks and making barely enough to keep a roof over their heads behave as if they were destined for greatness. Then there are younger chicks with almost minimum wage jobs who firmly believe that their dream guy is right around the corner. Even those whom I “helped” in exchange for services many years ago never stopped believing that they were somehow destined for greatness or at least an upper-middle class lifestyle. More problematically, this does not change even after hitting ‘the wall’. If anything, their solipsism goes into overdrive.

But it gets worse.. if that is possible. Even the ones you end up fucking never stop believing that they deserve better, regardless of how pathetic and mediocre they really are. And we have not even touched the issue of how the high rate of rejection from utterly mediocre chicks alters your own perception of them. To make a long story short, you stop seeing them as even sub-human, let alone human. Now combine this with the fact that they are average to below-average in looks and mediocre (at best) in bed. And let me be clear about one thing.. I did not arrive at this conclusion based on a few isolated incidents or a small sample size.

In the next part of this series, I will tell you about how specific experiences during the 2005-2009 timespan finally made me decide to choose the escort-only path.

What do you think? Comments?

Why Escorts are Always a Better Deal than Relationships or Marriage: 3

October 21, 2018 43 comments

In the previous post of this series, I wrote about how my decision to keep using escorts while still looking for a meaningful relationship (in the 2001-2005 timespan) finally started to convince me that conventional relationships were a sad charade. The short version of that story is that I could easily find escorts who were 7s to 9s in addition to be great in bed.. or wherever we did it.. but still struggled to find 5s and 6s who were interested in having sex with me. This is not to say that I could not find anybody, because there were a few. The amount of effort necessary, willingness to tolerate bullshit, in addition to mediocre quality of sex- more due to their lack of looks than enthusiasm, did however make me cynical about normie relationships.

Frequent rejections by totally mediocre looking girls also gave me a serious case of burnout in the ‘relationship’ department. I mean.. why would a sane person who can easily afford to eat in nice restaurants want to keep on trying to be a decent cook at home? There are those among you who might say that “it would be have been different if you were taller, more muscular, white etc”. You know what.. that might very well be the case, but these are things I just cannot change. Also caring about the norms of a society which does not care about you is sad and retarded. It did not help that I never felt any strong emotional connection with any of these “unpaid” chicks.

Of course, it took me till 2009-2010 to definitively reach that point . But before going over the period between 2005 to 2010, let me tell you a bit more about what I did between late 2000 and 2005- specifically between 2003 and 2004. You will soon see why that was an important period. Have you ever wondered about the depths of sexual “depravity” that I have plumbed? See.. in the 2000 to mid-2002 period my use of escorts was somewhat limited for a couple of reasons. For one, I was getting reasonable quality sex from a few economically challenged chicks who received indirect compensation for their efforts.

During that approximately (first) two-year period I ended up banging 4-5 “amateurs” with some degree of regularity and somewhere between 15-18 escorts, though a few from the later category received multiple repeats. Some of you might say that is pretty good for any guy, and that would be correct. However, my sexual encounters with every single one of these chicks was a financial transaction- direct or indirect. And my lack of success with “unpaid” chicks during this period was not for lack of trying. I tried approaching tons of chicks, went on a few dates- but things were not going anywhere. There is something uniquely unpleasant about facing constant rejection from average to sub-average chicks.

As mentioned in the previous post of this series, I thought that moving to a bigger city for a job that paid even better than my old one would help- and it kinda did. Over a period of a little over two more years, I did have semi-frequent “unpaid” sex with three chicks, one of who was a low 7 (if that helps). I also had some luck in cougar bars, which is really like shooting fish in a barrel- but could not get myself to do it more than couple of times. Sounds good.. right? Now I will tell you why that was not the case, and it has to do with an important change in my pattern of escort use during the same period.

Before late 2002, my use of escorts was not especially high for a number of reasons- including my ability to pay for their services. But after starting at my new job towards the end of 2002, it was possible to spend way more on escorts- and spend I did. It got to the point where I averaged one new escort per week, not to mention repeats from some of them. Long story short, there was a period of 52 weeks where I went through 55 or 56 new escorts (probably around 80 new ones in total during that two-year period). Also, one threesome counts as two escorts. This period also partially overlapped at least two of those “unpaid” chicks. When I look back at this period, it does seem a bit excessive. Then again, doing it with attractive chicks who are good at it, is lots of fun.

I probably crossed the three digit threshold sometime in 2004, though by this point it really did not matter. It had all become an endless collage of beautiful women with great bodies getting banged by me or riding on top, blowing me and more, spanking them and so on.. the stuff dreams are made of and I enjoyed every moment of it. During that time (and since then) I have fucked everything from toned and hot black chicks, latinas of various admixtures, east-european chicks etc. This is also why mediocre “unpaid” chicks no longer cut it. But there was more..

At that time, I would still have traded my lifestyle for a long-term relationship with a 6 or 7 with whom I had a strong connection, beyond the physical. But as time passed, it became increasingly obvious that “unpaid” chicks were just as self-centered as the “paid” ones. They wanted sacrifices from my end but were completely unwilling to do so at their end. To put it another way, I simply could not see any of them being trustworthy and willing to reciprocate to the degree necessary to preclude my continued use of escorts. It was simply not worth taking that route. It did, however, take me till 2008-2009 to reach a point where I had made my mind, for good.

In the next part of this series, I will explain how a series of not-so-great experiences at finding “unpaid” sex (in the 2005-2009 period) made me finally give up that idea. Spoiler alert: this realization has to do with how even mediocre women, especially in the West, see themselves.

What do you think? Comments?

Why Escorts are Always a Better Deal than Relationships or Marriage: 2

October 4, 2018 20 comments

In the previous post of this series, I wrote that using escorts for over a decade changes how one sees the world- in ways most cannot even imagine. Normie relationships, once a tolerable option to escorts, now feel pathetic and devoid of meaning. Many ideologies from MRA and traditionalism to MGTOW and new-agey BS sounds ridiculous, though to be fair.. one can reach that conclusion by many other routes. The same is true of most ‘game’ and ‘seduction’ communities, which bear more than a passing resemblance to religious and secular cults.

But what does any of this have to do with special insights provided by using escorts for well over a decade? Surely, one can arrive at the same conclusions about relationships, ideologies and belief systems without using escorts.. right? Well.. yes, you certainly can arrive at broadly similar conclusions via many other pathways. The difference comes down to how you integrate all of it into a self-consistent mental model of human behavior and society. Confused? Don’t be.. I will explain everything in detail (as much as is possible and prudent).

But before we go any further, there is one thing I want to be open about. Some of my older posts might give the impression that the switch from getting sporadic “unpaid” sex to purchasing it regularly was relatively quick and complete. The real story is more complicated. While I did start using escorts in the early 2000s and have not stopped since, I did not give up on the idea of normie relationships right away. It was almost 2010, before I finally gave up on it. Readers might see a connection between that time frame and my first posts on this blog.

There was a period of almost 8-9 years where I was used escorts regularly, but had not totally given up on the idea of having long-term relationships. Some of you might say.. “but didn’t you have some atrocious prior experiences with attempts at normie relationships. Well.. yes, that is true. However, I did get some sporadic and mediocre ass during those years and part of me never stopped wondering if it was possible to improve on that.

But where did I get this odd idea? As some of you might remember, I did not take any student loans during my M.Sc and money was tight during those years. During that time period, I often wondered if my chances at getting decent-looking chicks without mental issues would have been better if I had a decent job, more money or preferably both. A few months after finishing my M.Sc, I finally got a reasonably OK job that paid really well for being part-time. Adjusted for inflation, it would be around 50k in 2018 and with zero student loans or debt of any kind. Not bad for working noon-5pm, five days a week.

I started going out more, buying nice clothes and shoes, eating in nice restaurants and generally living a comfortable life. This is also when I first started to use escorts and also help a few poor chicks in exchange for personal services. I also tried meeting women through a variety of routes- from bars and pubs, book readings and concerts to internet dating sites. And yes, I did meet a few somewhat acceptable women through those routes. However, the attitude of those few along with the very high number of racists, flakes and delusional women pushed me further and further way from conventional dating.

I mean.. why would I invest so much time, effort and patience into meeting women or developing relationships when all I really wanted (sex with hot women) could be purchased at a reasonable hourly rate? You could say that this was this was the beginning of my permanent disillusionment with dating. But why, then, did I not lose all hope in finding relationships at that time? Well.. there are a couple or reasons. Firstly, some of my quasi-financial relationships with poor chicks were emotionally satisfying enough to keep alive that possibility. Secondly, I felt that moving to a more cosmopolitan city might alleviate issues related to racism.

A couple of years later, I got a full-time job near a large cosmopolitan city. This one paid even better than the previous one (obviously!) and the work environment was generally good. So I did what I had done previously on a larger scale. Long story short- I went to tons of different bars, large public events, talked up many chicks in public settings, tried many dating sites etc. Just to clear, I never stopped using escorts. Sure.. I was more successful in the conventional sense (especially in bars frequented by cougars and heavy drinkers) and did manage to bang a few OK looking chicks who I first met under ‘normal’ circumstances.

However the amount of time and effort I had to put into getting decent looking chicks was just too high, as compared to just using escorts. Banging a chubby chick who waits tables at some nearby restaurant is a far inferior experience to banging a model-level escort. OK.. a 20-year old moderately chubby chick who likes to take a pounding is not bad, but what do you do after that? Similarly, doing it with an average-looking 30-something chick (with a BF) who worked as a cook in yet another restaurant pales next to an enthusiastic pretty spinner who looks deliciously underage. But there was more to this than looks alone..

I never felt a real emotional or intellectual connection with any of these women. I never felt any certainty about a potential relationship. I never felt my life would be somehow incomplete without them. I never felt anything beyond what I had already felt for women who have sex for money. Conventional relationships started to feel like a sad charade which provided less than what one can buy but require much more time and personal involvement. This is also the one period in my life where I drank a lot, almost every single day. In retrospective, this had a lot to do with a general dissatisfaction about my attempts at forming relationships.

Since we are already at a thousand words, I will wrap up this post now. In the next one, I will tell you how my attempts at relationships (after the second job) during my PhD ended up validating what I had long suspected about relationships. FYI- It was towards the end of this next period that I finally become the deeply cynical and misanthropic person you all know today. This post has a lot of Is, doesn’t it?

What do you think? Comments?

On Long Term Social, Economic and Cultural Effects of Job Insecurity: 1

December 26, 2017 30 comments

A couple of weeks ago, an older acquaintance casually asked me about whether I intended to “settle down” someday soon. While that question was not unusual coming from somebody of her generation, it got me thinking about what it means to be able to “settle down” in the current era. I have a feeling that many, if not all, of you have been in a similar conversation with somebody a few decades older than yourself. As some of you might also know, well-paying and stable jobs with nice pensions used to be the norm in western countries since the end of WW2 till sometime in the mid-1980s. However the old ways continued for white-collar jobs, such as the one she had, right until the late 1990s-early 2000s.

In other words, career and income stability was the default state of affairs for most of the time since 1945. Now some of you might say that things used to be bad in even earlier eras such as the 1880s-1920s etc. My counterpoint is that there is a reason why life in those eras was so unstable and uncertain for everybody and is ultimately the reason why we had two world wars, multiple bloody revolutions and civil wars in the half century before WW2 ended. That is also why people like Hitler, Mussolini, Franco etc ascended to power and why right-wing militarism was ascendant in countries such as Japan during that era. Let us just say that there is as reason why so many developed countries implement sweeping socialist reforms in the aftermath of WW2.

The point I am trying to make is that previous experiments with laissez-faire capitalism have reproducibly lead to similar results across a number of countries and cultures. To put this in a contemporary perspective, there is a reason why Trump won the presidential election in 2016, the ‘leave’ side won in the 2015 Brexit referendum and so many European countries have seen the resurgence of right-wing nationalist parties. Anybody with more than half a brain can now see that Fukuyama’s “End of History” was just another example of the delusional ivy-league fantasy of power and control. All these warning signs have, however, not had much of an impact on those who are pushing for more neoliberalism. All these visible signs of public dislike for their policies, has if anything, increased their enthusiasm for furthering them.

But how does any of this play out at the level of the individual, family, society, nation-state etc? As many of you know, I have written many posts in the past about issues related to these changes such as spread of social atomization (link 1, link 2), collapse of normal relations between the sexes (link 3), loss of the normal life cycle of people and families (link 4), widespread mercenary attitudes among people (link 5, link 6), loss of public faith in institutions (link 7) etc. Most of what I have written on this topic thus far is, however, mostly about how people react to neoliberalism as state policy and some short and medium scale social changes. What about long-term changes? What would be the potential long-term social, economic and cultural effects of income and career insecurity?

Well.. as you must have realized by now, this is a large topic which cannot be adequately addressed in two or three posts, let alone a single one. Furthermore many potential long-term effects cannot be neatly characterized into distinct categories, since there is a lot of feedback and cross-talk among various aspects of these effects. So let me start by making the most obvious observation about the future of neoliberalism. Based on what I have seen to date, it is unlikely that neoliberalism (in any of its flavors) can be reformed into something gentler and less rapacious. The biggest beneficiaries and supporters of neoliberalism will keep on pushing it till they cease to exist- and you can read that statement in more than one way.

As a corollary, neoliberalism (in any form) is not sustainable beyond the next decade (at most)- but not because of its negative effects on the environment or some similar delusional reason. The real reason behind the unsustainability of that ideology has to do with its effect on society aka the host. Neoliberalism, you see, is a lot like a parasite or cancer in that it requires a host or system which operate on very different principles than itself. However every increase in its numbers and extent of spread compromises the normal functioning of the very system and environment which make its “success” possible.

Let us start by talking about one of the most obvious effects of neoliberalism, but one that is seldom connected to it- extreme sub-replacement fertility. While there has been a consistent worldwide reduction in rates of fertility over the last few decades, even in traditionally high fertility countries, the sub-replacement and still dropping rates of fertility in “developed” countries stand apart from the rest due to a number of factors. Firstly, the rate drop in those countries is due to factors beyond elimination of excessive childhood mortality. To be more precise, financial and career costs of having children combined with negative utility of having them are, by far, the main reasons for persistently sub-replacement fertility rates seen in “developed” countries.

Secondly, and perhaps more significantly, the most significant drops are seen in those who are actively engaged in neoliberal “competition”- either for jobs and career or money. While people with this profile were once the minority, the increase in neoliberal-style “competition” for things as basic as jobs which pay a decent wage and are fairly stable has made this particular type of childlessness very common in younger sections of the population. There is of course, the irony, that those who are most invested in furthering their career through the neoliberal paradigm (and thus its most loyal foot soldiers) often have no children or one token child conceived when they are in their 40s.

While my views on having or not having children are neutral, it is worthwhile to note that part of reason neoliberalism will fail is that its most devout foot-soldiers (credentialed classes, professionals, aspiring types) will be neither truly rich nor capable of producing enough devout new worshipers of that ideology. To put it another way- even without other factors, neoliberalism as an ideology will decline as the number and influence of its most devout followers falls with every passing year. In contrast to this, blue-collar workers and not-so-connected white-collar types have no vested interest in supporting neoliberalism- irrespective of their fertility rates. To make a long story short, neoliberalism (like parasites and other ideologies) cannot survive the demise of their vectors.

In the next part of this series, I will try to focus on a related problem- namely, the fact that all those aspiring and credentialed/professional types who worship neoliberalism will themselves never have a secure livelihood or become truly rich.

What do you think? Comments?